A King's Love

My Soldier and His Prayer

2011-04-03T15:22:00.000-07:00

Wrote this a few days ago... though its not a comfortable subject, its Truth can't be forgotten

With a gun on his back the young man stood

His heart silently bleeding, he’d cry if he could

He had to stay strong and keep on with the fight

No matter the fear or terror of the night

For just a split second he thought of a child

Jealous was he of innocence so undefiled

For what was once just a fun childhood game

Was now strapped to his back, never leaving him the same

It was his choice to make an oath years ago

No one said with honor came a measure of woe

He fought for his country, for the Red White and Blue

He’d fight til God called him Home, he knew that was true

Dear God, he silently prayed, are you there?

Do you understand my heart’s torn, do you hear my prayer?

I’m fighting for those I love, don’t you understand?

If you do anything Lord, guide this gun in my hand

I’m tired of seeing those I love fall ‘round me

I’m trying to be the soldier you want me to be

They trained me to be firm, tough and strong

But I wake up dreading the funeral’s vile song

You know I serve you above all the rest

So I humbly beg of you this one small request

Can you show up in my story just a little bit more?

Tell me just how you share in my heart’s broken core

At first the young man heard not a sound

Hopelessly he laid his head on the ground

Maybe he’d misunderstood God’s grace

Maybe he’d been forgotten, as well as his race

“My child, raise your head once again

Realize that love, my love, always gains a win

I never considered leaving you here alone

I Cherish the times you’re honest before my throne

You asked to see how I understood your fight

You asked to know if I understood a hopeless night

My Son, my fight held not a gun, but a cross

And believe me, I understand the heartache of loss

But as you’ve seen your brothers die here

I remember the heartache and unending tears

When you think I stand by silent without a care

Realize I'm silently sharing in the burden you bear

When your family can’t help a sleepless night

I’m standing near, praying, and in that joining the fight

For once, long ago, my prayer was the same heart break

I begged for release and relief from the ache

I love you, my child, you need to know

When you have no where to turn no where to go

Tear down the walls, run into my arms open wide

I am the One and Only, and Your Unseen Guide

Still here... totally blessed

2011-01-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

So, I was randomly reminded about this blog a couple days ago, and I'm a tad bit surprised that it's been this long (almost 3 years??) since I've written. In that time God has done what only God does well: taught me that no matter how many times I have to start my own trail, fall down, or make a fool out of my testimony; He is always there to hold me close, dust me off and find the gold among the mud. Oh blessed Hope and Glorious Grace. My Jesus is king of ALL!

Over the years I've somewhat hidden my ability to write, and God has been proving over and over again that it's not my gift of writing at all. Its His gift manafested in me. I only say this because anymore, unless there's something that God totally constructs in my heart and mind, my writing, even the lessons I've written over the years make no sense.
So, with that said, these two poems are some of the more recent things I've written, the entire time my head spinning trying to understand why they have to come from my hand. But, regardless, I pray these 2 speak Truth to your hearts and spur you on to live past the comfortable.

A Moment With Job

With one word my pride was shattered
With one word my confidence was gone
If only the knowledge I had really mattered
If only my words brought the dawn

Lord, I thought I could stand and fight you
But as you came, I heard your footsteps thunder
What the wise have always claimed stands true
One glimpse of you brings speechless wonder

You confidently showed me the gates of Hell
'Can you command them open, or push them shut?
Show me, oh wise one, teach me well!
With one question, I felt the blow to my gut

Who am I to give evil warning?
Who am I to claim I know all?
I challenged the Painter of the morning
How dare I try to make Yahweh small?

As I picked up my sword, did I even see your hand
Skills I have, but in front of you, they disappear
YOUR hand crumbled the strongest lands
With your strength, you shattered satan's spear

Lord, I shut my mouth, I fight back tears
The strength I've seen proves your grace
Forgive me for doubting you through the years
Thank you for putting me in my place!!

Stones

'Mercy for me! Justice for them!' we cry
Quietly the condemned stand to die
We whisper, 'our lives will never be as bad as theirs
They'll be blotted out. Praise God! Who cares?

We giggle with Glee as the stones start to soar
We laugh as we see the blood and the gore
Our lives will never be as bad as theirs
They'll be blotted out. Praise God! Who cares?

Let you think we believe we're all right
Remember, they sinned during the day, we at night
So therefore, their sin was playing the fool
Slyness and tact are a sinner's perfect tool

Atleast we only threw one or two stones
The heart still beats, we left broken bones
tough love is our motto, please, don't you see
As long as you keep judgement away from me

When God calls us out, He leaves nothing behind
No one can say, 'He cannot hear, and yes, He is blind'
What stones you throw will always be thrown back
On Judgement Day, Christ shows the perfection you lack

A Pursuing God

2008-05-31T20:06:00.000-07:00

Revelation 3:20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

I don't know where to start. This verse makes my heart soar. A lot of times, I hate writing about one verse all by itself because there's so much we can get from the context. But this one just about knocked me over the first time I actully took time to read it. The Lord is writing to the Church in Laodicea, pouring his heart out to them. This church said they loved God but really, didnt care a hoot what they were doing.
Earlier in verse 16 God cries out that "since you are luke warm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth." In other words, the actions that he was seeing were "making him sick" (real good theology term for ya!) The Christians in this Church probably understood a little too well how much that statement was true, and they didn't care. It was just a little too hard, and a little too convicting to change, but hey, they said the prayer, they believe in Christ, that's good enough right? (I'm stepping on my own toes here...)
So, after I've completely depressed all of you, let me shine some light on that subject. God still pursues us. It doesn't matter that we don't pursue him with a passion, he still pursues us with an incomprehensible and unmeasurable passion.
Think about it. The Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End... the "Amen" of life... let me get real lame here and just point out something that I think a part of each one of us asks. How - no, WHY- would a Being with that much "say- so" that much power, care about me? Cummon, I'm a kid that works in a town of 7,000 people, hasn't acchieved much as far as society's concerned, and yet the God of the Universe is standing at my door? Put in your own story, but I think the same is true for all of us. If WE were God, there's no way on earth we'd stand "knocking" at someone's door, and not stopping until they answer. Yet the fact that that isn't explainable is what makes it so precious. Love stepped down and came to live among us, even though Love (Christ) knew that He would be doing most of the drty work in this relationship.

I once heard the "Christian" journey described using initiatives. This speaker kept on saying "Christ loves you, but you have to take the first step." I understand -oh so well- where this man was coming from. (Christ will not make you love him) But at the same time, I don't agree. Christ "beat us" to the initiative. Go to Golgotha... the pursuing became evdent there. And the fact that he is willing to stand at our "door" (our heart) and knock until we answer tells me a few things.
1. He doesn't give up easily
2. His love outstands my stubbornness
3. He pursues no matter our history.

Most of you have been in church most of your lives. Do me a favor will you? Don't take this verse like water off a duck's back. This has HOPE written over it... just because you've heard His Story more times than you can count does not mean you cant step back and revisit the awe that ruled your life the first time you somehow heard the "Amen" of Life simply say "I'll do anything to be with you."
Pretty powerful stuff... I'l talk to you later
Cass

Scale the Heights, find the Master

2008-05-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,'

Whoever is still out there.... HI! Sorry I've sort of resorted to keeping all this going through email, so I have, in some ways, kind of forgotten about this space. I could give you a great excuse, but that's all it'd be, an excuse. Most of my days the past several months have been insane with school work and having a very filled - yet routine- life. Any of you that have actually seen my life know I hate it when my life turns into a routine. At the same time, when you're living on a college campus with about 40 students and its impossible for you to leave, there's very rarely a "routine" day. But even that can turn into a routine.
This past year at Alaska Christian College (ACC) smacked me around... a lot. Theology always throws me for a spin, because I don't really have the gift of faith. I would only have that gift if faith meant "analyze and explain everything until it all makes sense and there's no need for an imagination... because you always get the answer." You guys have seen and heard me argue (or, if you wanna get professional I believe the correct term in theology is "discuss") almost everythng humanly possible to explain questions. I think the craziest thing I learned this year is thats not always necessary. I went to college to get the Book knowledge in theology, and walked away learning alot, like.. God can argue his own case... and I'll never understand anything in theology until I accept who I am in Christ. How's that for a year in a discipleship program?

On the "normal" side of my life (no comments from the peanut gallery) nothing is new as of 3 weeks ago. I graduated from ACC (1 year program) and 4 days before that graduation, got my GED. Talk about backwards, but at times I wonder if I do anything the logical way. Now, I'm doing what every one seems to do around this time of the year... hunting like crazy for a job, and praying that I won't have to stay in the same spot of this gorgeous land forever. I absolutely love Alaska, but I'm getting a little antsy to get somewhere where no one knows me. Yeah, like I said, typical attitude of an 18 year old that hasnt shut-up or sat still since she was born.

Habakkuk 3:19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

Ever hiked a steep mountain? It isn’t easy, there are so many times that you lose your footing. Falling is a little frightening as it is, but when you are 20,000 feet or more up in the air… just the thought of falling is enough to make you wonder why you even signed up for this adventure.
But when you make it, when the mountain is summitted, you understand that being crazy has its advantages. The eagles that fly over have the majestic flair that you’ve always heard about. The mountain doesn’t look like your worst enemy; but you really do see it as the amazing creation that God has made. This, my friend, is why you came, to be crazy, but to find that even as you gritted your teeth in pain, the end would be glorious. Let me tell you though that you won’t understand any of this until you’ve done it. You won’t understand the sense of astonishing peace that comes with knowing you made it. You’re safe and now you can enjoy the beauty. My favorite part though, is there is no way you can look at the mountain, the rivers, the whole creation that was set before you, and not see God.
So God is promising to make us surefooted as a deer. Sounds weird when we first hear about it, but think of the mountains we have to climb on a daily basis. Although if we slip and fall on these mountains it won’t actually kill us, but it can still do it’s damage.
To be surefooted, to take on the heights of our problems is a promise, but we have to take the last step. God is giving us the ability and the promise that He is our strength, but we have to climb. Climbing means knowing what we’re doing. Knowing the other promises that God has given us, and fully relying on those.
Rely on the promise of “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
“I love you with an everlasting love.”
“I am faithful and just to forgive your sins and cleanse you from all wrong.”
These are only a few of the millions of promises that God has given.

Nobody likes to fall, especially spiritually. Yet we have a promise that God will bring us up the heights of life and make us victorious. This promise is yours. Use it as much as you need to, but the biggest thing we all need to do, is know who gave us these promises. These promises mean nothing if we don’t know the promise-giver. Take courage in the fact that you are being made as surefooted as a deer. You can conquer any height because the Father knows what you need.

See ya guys later, I'm still praying

Cass

Rabbi's Dust

2007-11-15T23:31:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends,

I seem to be starting every entry with the lame line of "I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth. But I don't think anyone will believe me if I say that. Things here have been bizaar, and except to send out a few short sentence emails every day, I'm rarely on the computer. Huge difference between the kid a couple years ago and the student now. It used to be that my ministry through the net was all I was about, now.... you never see me on the computer!

School is a blast, pretty stressful right now wrapping things up for the semester, but we're all looking so forward to the break that we barely care anymore!!

This poem has been on my mind and heart for months now and I just got it down on paper a few weeks ago. The saying "May you walk in the dust of your Rabbi" was a blessing said among ancient Jews. What they meant by that is they were saying "may you walk SO closely to what you were taught as true, that you are COVERED in it!" The thing is, we have the Rabbi above all Rabbi's. And He is the only one that is Truth. So I have changed that saying to say "May you walk in the dust of THE Rabbi." May people know that you are a follower of Jesus, the Rabbi, and Jesus the Savior... and may they have no doubt of that fact. I am praying that for you.

May you walk in the dust of the Rabbi May the things he says be the supply
Of every breathe you take
Of every minute you’re awake

May the dust of the Rabbi guide your heart
May His teachings truly be a part
Of your life, your journey, and your song
May you understand the difference between right and wrong

May the dust of the Rabbi be all you’re about
May the Truth He shares keep you on the Route
The route to his kingdom, the route to his arms
May this Dust keep you from all satan’s harms

May the very essence of his presence be all you need
May His example guide you in your deed
May you give God the praise
When life gets hard and you don’t understand His ways

Give him the praise because He has given you his dust
To show you what you could do, or what you must
Give him the praise for giving you this gift
For giving you something to follow while walking this rift

Hallelujah Lord for you Grace
Hallelujah Abba for being in this place
If there’s anything I could do I must…
Praise you Lord for your Dust!
***********************************************************************************

See ya Later!!
Cass

Is Scripture powerful in your life?

2007-08-18T12:23:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

If you're wondering if I'm still alive... I promise you I am, things have just been kind of crazy around this little ol' town of Alaska. Or rather it's grasping the realization that I no longer have any freedom starting Thursday. (If you really wanna get in an arguement, no one has freedom until they get to heaven... so what am I Complaining about?) Colleges start up pretty soon around here, but Alaska Christian College starts on the 24th. Try as I might to just shrug it off because I'm only going 30 minutesaway to live in a dorm and study theology (by now I'm hearing chuckles I'm sure!) after 4 years of staying at home because of the epilepsy and brain surgeries, I'm kind of apprehensive about getting THAT kind of structure back in my life again. Those of you that don't know, my "schooling" in the Bible has all been personal and basic, and this will be more of a test to see whether I can let God rule 100% of my life rather than whether I can keep up with my studies.
My parents are, as always, a gift from God. They know how weird this is for me, and to be honest, I know how hard this is for them. I've had to stay hanging on my mother's apron strings longer than most kids, teens, and sadly, adults. They've been setting me up with everything necessary for this school, the most important part of the prep prayer and love. Although last night when we celebrated my birthday you would have thought that I thought the most important thing was the computer they bought. Shows you how quickly we forget the reality of life... and to lighten things up here... shows you how many dang papers I'll be writing at this college! (no more than a regular college I'm sure!)

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

I have had the priviledge to correspond with someonethese past- what- few weeks? And many things we agree on but the way we say it is different so we argue - or the polite theological way to say it is "discuss" (not making fun here, I'm serious) to no end. You've all been there. Whether with someone of the same faith or with someone of a different faith... or at least I hope you have. Why? Because it makes you strive for a better understanding of your faith in Christ.

I have to admit something to you here (My Friend, if you read this, read it to the end) I have no idea if he is a Christian. As we used to say as 7th graders he could be a "poser". But in the same position, he doesn't know me either. He knows I talk smooth, and that I can talk like a Christian... But! What in the world does that mean?

He brought something up to me that shocked the socks off of me. (did I really just say that? I'm starting to sound like my mother! Must be that I'm getting older) In the positions that He had, although in many of them I did not agree, he used scripture. And although He might have meant for them to mean something else, they were still used in my life. And what did I do when I was explainging my position? I did exactly what I shouldn't have done, I went to fast. I ddn't use scripture. I used my theological and my biblical training and just made it sound "normal" if that can even be done.

Guys, gals, whoever you are. Young ol, in between... tell whoever you're talking to whenever that comes up that you gotta wait a second. When you're discussing you're position, whether you both agree or not, USE SCRIPTURE. There's nothing more powerful in a person's life than for them to walk away knowing you didn't use just your own position in life.

Next time you're confronted, try something. Only use scripture. Don't even try and explain the scripture... only use scripture. I know that sounds dumb and razy, but don't you think our God is big enough to work?

okay, I'm done standing on my soap box...

talk atcha later~Cass

The Provision of a King

2007-08-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,

Okay. Yes. I am still alive. No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Am I still willing to keep this blog going? I have NO idea. Let's just say taking a break this summer has been great. Now it's off to college. Whether God wants me to keep this going is up to Him. i.e Whether he gives me the time and the input of what to put on this is up to Him.
This summer has been great. I've been in Indiana working in my old hometown at my home church as an intern (we jokingly call that a slave) working in the office. It's been a stretch in more ways than one, but going into that here would be wrong. God's definitely shown me where my faith needs to grow and has helped me mature in ways I never thought possible. What an awesome God we serve.

I know I usually give you guys a passage of scripture here and then go on, and on, and sometimes go even further... but right now, I don't feel like I can do that. Something God has been teaching me this summer is the difference between teaching only by your input alone (leaving God out of it) and then letting God use your life and Him speaking through you. Something that I've had a hard time grasping because I've had very little example of that growing up except in my family.

But something happened this summer that blew me away at the greatness of our God. And then again, to my shame, it shouldn't have. Let me tell you a story of my incompetance to understand who my God really is. And maybe through that you'll understand Him better.

I left my Home in "igloo land" (if you don't know what or where that is by now... Lord help you) with about $60 in my pocket. I knew that there was no way I was going to survive 2 months with $60 alone, but I also knew that my family wasn't completely mean. My job in Indy wasn't paid (i.e the term "internship") so I just closed my eyes and said a desperate prayer. When I got to my family in the states... my Uncle came through. His response to giving me his money was priceless.

"I know what it's like to stay with a friend and not have money but wanting to pay your own way. Here... take some money." Not wanting to act like a stupid little immature kid, I hugged 'im and thanked him for the money, but inside I was jumping for joy. I had money. I was going to be okay. God was providing. Even though I knew that promise was never going to fail, my faith was soon going to be tested.

When I left my family to start my internship down in southern Indiana after 2 weeks of spending time with them, the unthinkingable happened. Or atleast to me it was unthinkable. In the small town of Alaska, everyone knows everyone. No one locks their car doors, no one worries if their purse is left somewhere. Well, I left my purse in my car... and I was smart enough to atleast hide it under the seat. But when I came back to it, I had $11 instead of $120. A thief with a conscience! Praise God.

A day later, I had to use all but one dollar of that money. And I survived on that $1 for quite sometime. I finally took my money, what I had left of it, which by the time I woke up to the truth and remembered God I only had a few dimes, and knelt by my bed.

"God a few weeks ago I already gave you your 10% of this money... you promised you'd provide. Whether you multiply this money right in front of me now or later on, I'm trusting you. But please just do it. You're teaching me to lean on you, and I just pray you'll teach me to heed every word."

I have to admit, I expected the money to come in 10 minutes later or even a day later. But it didn't. God waited. And waited. And I'm so glad He did. A while later, one of my friends came into the church while I was working and he handed me an envelope just saying "I heard what happened, don't say anything Cass, just take it. I love you."

My mother sent my $40 the next day as well.

Why am I telling you this story? To encourage you. To plead with you not to give up. His time is perfect. He proclaimed that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without Him noticing, what more of a treasure are you? He will provide. Whether it's money, a car, or a broken family that needs to be healed, he is right there. And if He comes to your rescue any sooner, it wouldn't be as perfect as it could be. Believe me, I know.

See ya Around

Cass

Am I Normal?!?!

2007-06-02T14:16:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

Sorry its been over a month since I've been on here. We've been runnin' a crazy ship around here. I've been working on getting things ready for college in the fall, as well as leaving on Tuesday.... and yes, thats been taking longer than I expected. I have no idea what God has planned for me in either one of these adventures (college in the fall; Indiana for the summer) but I've learned to just let Go and let God.

So, this is going to be a weird post today... especially since it'll probably be the last one for a while, so I have no idea why I'm talking about this particular subject. But you don't argue with God. I was reading through my old papers that I'd written, and this came up. It's not a warm and fuzzy. It actually made me feel uncomfortable and its written about my "people." The disabled. And I wrote it. I want us to see just how much these people are ignored for Christ's love. Maybe we'll see it when we see it from my point of view.

I want to scream when I hear those words. "I want a normal child." There's a bite to those words I've heard many times before but I've never been able to accept. Yes, it's hard to see a disabled child. But she's beautiful; she still has a heart that beats like the rest of us, she still feels. I don’t get why people don’t see that. Then again, yeah, I do.
It’s a hard world out there, a hard thing to stand in front of someone to call them "normal." Especially when you look at them and it doesn’t appear like their gorgeous eyes are looking back. Or they don’t look normal because their body's bent in a gross fashion. How can we accept that and call them normal, how do we sit down and talk to them like they're normal… when we know they're not?
So that’s the world's view, what's the 'other person's' view? I'll tell you. I can tell you because I've been there. I've been the kid that everyone looks at because I can't speak, or because my body looks weird. Or because they look at me and I peer right through them. What do I feel like? When people look at me like that what does it mean to me?
My heart breaks, because I really do have a heart, I really do have feelings. But the scars that can be shown make it so that I'm fair game. It’s a funny thing when people start treating me normally, and then catch themselves, they act like it's a crime. I don’t understand it to be honest with you. All I know is that I wish they'd see that I really am here.
I talked it out with a friend once, and she replied, basically, that it was okay to not accept these people in the world in some cases. I wanted to allow her the time inside my body, where I hurt more times than not because I saw both sides of the story almost too clearly. These people needed to get talked to, even if all it’s a simple "hi, I love you."
What would a person do if it were them? If it were them in the wheelchair barely holding on to a conscience thought; what then? I laugh when little kids ask for my disabilities to get out of school, but I beg for adults to get the pain for a day. That way the world would see what they consider "semi brain dead" or even "brain dead" is still alive. Or even that the hurt that comes from various diseases needs to be accepted.
There are days I hate being disabled; I know I'm not the only one. But the hardest thing is when I peer into the crowd and no one looks back because they're embarrassed. What can I do about it? Accept the fact that I'll never be accepted as the normal society, but there has to be someone that knows we still have souls we still have dreams. And we still need to be a part of every family.
We are a different society maybe… but we still want to be a part of this world.
********************************************************************************
So this is worse case scenerio, but now we know. And it has happened, it happens many times a week. Just because it's the world we live in. I'm challenging you, and myself, that the next time you run into someone that makes you uncomfortable because they look different, or because they limp WHATEVER! Befriend them. It saddens me that I have to tell this to adults, but I have to tell this more to the mature than the immature. They will see Christ just through you talking to them. Believe me, I know.

Alrighty, so I'll try and come by a little more often but This summer's going to be different... I'll be praying though.
See ya~Cass

Crushed for it all

2007-04-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

WELL! This week has definitely been better, and definitely been a little bit crazier. And like I've told you before, if I don't have craziness, I don't have normalcy, so.... all is well. ha! We have college students staying with us all this weekend so it's an endless weekend of movies, popcorn and girls staying up late to talk. You'd think we were back in Junior high or something. But oh well, I'll just pay for staying up til 3 in the morning later.

Isaiah 53:5-7 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray,each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

I usually don't say this about scripture, but this passage makes me sick. In a good way. Because it opens my eyes to what He did. For me. For you. Are you reading this scripture closely? And I mean really closely? It doesn't say he was just prodded with a stick and then left alone to think. Or that he was slapped twice and then left naked to be humiliated (which, in my opinion, would have been enough humiliation to last a life time.) No, he was CRUSHED, completely beaten, bruised, lefted unrecognizable. This was what he put himself through. If I explained the ways they would torture "criminals" back then... the cat of nine tails, the whips, the barb wire for the crown, say nothing of the fact for the rot iron nails and the spears... You'd understand why "crushed" comes to life for me here. And He took all of that for us. We have peace now because of Him.

Now, I want you to imagine with me, what you would have done on the cross if you were there. Not just at the foot of the cross saying "Messiah, I thought you were the one, come back!" but actually being crucified yourself. I usually don't like thinking like that, but what would your reaction be? Fear? Anger? Sadness? Screams of terrior? One of my friends gave me a nail this week and told me to just press it against my palm as HARD as I could. It didn't hurt perse' but it stung. "Now multiply that by 1,000 (I wanted to tell him it was more than that!) and you have the pain of Christ. And we didn't even pity Him. He took our pain and He was as silent as silent could be, and we didn't even pity him. What more could we do to him?" His point was made.

You know what Easter is. Christ was crucified, buried and he ROSE on the third day. Hallelujah. Easter is that Resurrection. Praise God we worship a risen Savior, Amen? The love He showed, on that cross, was a crucial part (duh?). But my point is, many a time we just really quickly go over the crucifixion of Christ like it was no biggie because we don't wanna think about it. I can see why it'd be easier to make it into the preschool version and forget about what it means, but what about the hard details that can change our lives? It's a huge part of thinking about what He has done. Of those nails getting driven into his hands, and him taking it for a crowd that really, didn't care. Take time this Year to THINK about what led up to Easter. and to meditate on the fact that the only reason you are here, is because He was willing to be crushed and crucified.
What a wonderful Savior.

Cass

I saw His face

2007-03-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

Well, If can't lie, it's been a hard week. My body has sort of turned on me in every aspect of the game. The people that have been through this with me -with my health - know that I will be the first one to say "hey 2nd chances!" "3rd times a charm!" But what's the rhyme for 4 times around? No I'm not giving up. I can't do that when God has given me such joy in the circumstances and living I have. But the seizures are coming back faster than um.... I ever expected I guess. The other night I almost landed myself in the ER, and the device they put me on (VNS) that shocks me every 5 minutes for 30 seconds is still too weak. Oh well, I guess I'm doing this so that I won't turn on the doctors in Seattle. They adore me there because I'm always giving them new stuff to look at, my case is bigger than the size of TX. This, my Friends, is where my life as a 2 faced Christian would never have pulled off. Because God's joy can never be copied. And it's the only way I'm surviving right now.

Luke 17:11-16 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!" When he saw them, he said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

"UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!" or "DON'T TOUCH ME, I'M SINFUL! DON'T TOUCH ME I'M SINFUL! DON'T TOUCH ME, I'M SINFUL!" How might you like walking the streets of where ever you call home screaming this? I live in a small- very small - town. If anyone sees you, everyone sees you. I once joked with my friend that if you held hands with the wrong boy while on a walk, it would be in the newspaper the next morning. That's an exaggeration, but you get the point. There's no decency, there's no hope for the person that did something wrong 10 years ago.

Is leprosy a disease caused by sin? It may be. Kings have been struck down with it for not repenting... and leprosy isn't just "the nuisance" that means it's not pleasant to look in the mirror because you're not the hunk you used to be. You lose limbs, you lose a nose, you lose... well...
But even still, leprosy can just be caused by dumb bacteria. (If I tried to spell it out I'll get a doctor wiz on here that'll spill my guts for not looking it up...) So it's a little of both.

So when these men that were infected with the disease saw Jesus, they had every right to want to be healed. Who would want to stay that way? Jesus does miracles... it just adds up. So what do they do, the only thing they can do... call from a distance. If they walk right up to him, they break the law. If He walks right up to THEM it's his own fault and heck, it means the religious leaders get a break. (or not)

There were ten of them. Jesus sent them to the Priests because that's the only way a person with leprosy in those days could start living again. "See see! I have nothing wrong with me." If the priests approve, it must not be a dream. But you don't understand do you. They went back to the priests and only 9 showed up. Where was the 10th one?

Giving thanks and adoration to the One that deserved it. This man's "stamp of approval" could wait a little longer. This Jesus, this Messiah, was the only one that mattered. This was what Joy felt like. Not so much being healed, but giving thanks. That was that person's gold that day, was seeing Heaven open up to him.

So my challenge to you, and to me... is when we are healed where are we going? No, it doesn't have to be leprosy. Or cancer, or Multiple Sclerosis, or any of "the big ones." Even the emotional things that we are healed from, that we are finally freed from, who do we dance in front of? The people that can be in awe of what "we" have done... or in front of the only One that Deserves it.

Don't be one of the nine that ran away~Cass

God and the Cracks of life

2007-03-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

What a nutty (yes, I said nutty... ) couple'a weeks. I have no clue what I'm still doing here at the moment. Or, at least that would be my answer if I forgot who I belonged to. But the thing is, through every dumb circumstance, God reigns. I'm here because He's not finished. Yes, I know, I'm preaching 2 paragraphs early. But the thing is, it's been a crappy (oops) 3 weeks and so has my attitude. And it's been interesting watching God snap me around. Even the teacher needs a time of revival. Even the teacher forgets who is God and who is the clay. But what a crazy event to remind me of all these things. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Because, in the midst of landing me right back in the midst of square one and the doctor's questionaire, I have been reminded, once again, just how awesome the one true God is. Amen?

Isaiah 29:11 You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "He did not make me"? Can the pot say of the potter, "He knows nothing"?

Isaiah 45:9 "Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'?

Basically, I'm ashamed to say, these 2 passages are reminding us that we sometimes "stupify" God. "God! You know nothing!" (Hence the first passage.) "I'm supposed to be beautiful, I'm supposed to be like an NFL footlball player, cook, draw people in in 5 seconds flat... You don't understand what you're making God. Here let me take over!"

But as soon as we take over, who's more stupified, you, or the Maker? Because we are trying to beautify ourselves as the clay from the clay wheel, so we don't see the crack here that says "I'm still prideful" (oh really? You must be mistaken) Or, "Compassion never shows... unless it's good for me." (That ain't true, I kissed a baby once, to make my wife happy.) But God sees it and if He has to, he takes every part of us and works it out of us on the Potter's wheel. And man a live does it hurt. But the thing is, what comes out is better than what we could ever present before the King on Judgement Day. Because the Maker sees us from all sides. We? We only see ourselves from what we think.

And, lets face it honey dears. Everything we see is good. Even if, really, it's bad. Because we don't want to go before God and say "My Maker, you made something beautiful, but I messed up. You made something that would beautify those around me but I cracked your pottery by adding pride, anger, jealousy..... Father, can you fix me? Will you fix me?"

If you are a weathered Christian, a weathered "claypot" of God's that has been used many times, you know that that prayer may come out with humility and seem easy. And really? That's the easiest step of all. But it's the start of the hardest journey. Because the Maker doesn't put the bandaid on your crack and say "well the world won't notice, peace be to you, and sin no more, it'll go away." He puts you back on the potter's wheels and starts all over again if he has to. Teaching you the gift of humility, compassion, love, joy, peace, patience. But the thing is, he first has to scrap of everything

you and I have put there. And that can hurt.
But did you notice something in those verses? Although it is a warning and although at times you can read things like that and just feel completely distressed by what God is handing you... really it's what's not in those verses. He didn't say "I will not love you." He did not say "do this three times over and that's it, begone out of my sight." He still loves us, but there will come the hardships of not letting him do the work. It's his love that gets us through the biggest cracks of life. And don't you ever forget it.

Talk to you later
Cass

What powers of Hell, what Scheme of Man

2007-03-09T14:42:00.000-08:00

Hey There

So for everyone that must know... I'm finally living in Alaska again! I was getting sick and tired of getting the reports (especially from Indiana... sorry guys) that it was negative something and snowing... and here I was in 32 degree weather and melting all my snow. God finally blessed us with about 8 inches a couple days ago. YES! Can you tell I absolutely love living in Igloo land? What in the world am I gonna do when I move?!
Oh, I had a couple people getting antsy to know what's going on in May... and the only reason I didn't address it head on was I thought I'd already brought it up for prayer, or for everyone to argue about. I'll be in Indiana from May to the end of August living with some friends of mine. I'd love to give details, but, I've learned that that's a little TOO complicated!

Galatians 5:2-4 Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. 3Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. 4You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.

Can I hear a big resounding, "OUCH!" Women? We're not excluded from this. Sorry. Circumcision these days can come in a whole different way.
Have you ever turned your back on God, but not noticed it? Hine's sight is always 20/20. So, sorry about this, but we're taking a trip. We find something in the Old testemant that we think we need to follow that makes us forget the new covenant we have with God. We make that rule that is now our idol the only thing we live for. It is now our god. And the Real God? Oh He's in there, just on the bottom shelf.
Paul is actually talking about the action of cutting the body in this passage. But when I was reading through the whole chapter I found myself weeping at the fact that I had done the same thing in so many, many ways. At times in the past I had forgotten about grace and made God sit back and watch as I go through the rituals to try and earn his love. And that's just not possible.
Reading your Bible
Going to Church
Giving to the Poor
.....
All these things are fantastic, and I love them dearly. But if you let yourself forget God because it CAN be just a ritual at night before you go to bed ("now I lay me down to sleep... okay I said my prayer!") Going to church because, well just 'cause. Giving to the poor because you want the blessing, not because you want to grow closer to the Creator and his love mercy and grace. The list goes on. Everything can be turned into that, and I don't mean to split hairs like this. But where have we forgotten grace, and where have we brought in our own salvation?
It happens. I've been there. If you don't know everything about me, you'd be surprised to know just how many 2 faced ideas and rituals I made up before I found grace. These verses say that if we do these things, Christ will be of NO (ABSOLUTELY NO) Value to us. The King of the Heavens will slip away because we've made up our own ordeal. Which sounds okay, right?
But the thing is, we're human. What thing, made by a human has ever held when faced by the fires of hell and the schemes of Satan? None. And so, my friends, the grace of Christ is the only thing we can grasp on to. The only thing. He covers every ritual we've tried, and will try, and gives us forgiveness and a future instead. I can't imagine anything other than that.
See ya around
Cass

Is HE Real?

2007-02-25T22:40:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys,
What a weird couple of weeks! Sorry I havent been around much, things have kind of blown up in my face around here. But Hey, if we didnt have craziness there'd be no point in life! (I'm totally joking!) I'm just trying to get "ready" to leave in May for a couple months and it's proving to be a weird ordeal all in the same. I'm lovin' it though. I've got a job openning here because I need some mulla while I'm gone, so that's half the craziness right there. But All is well, knowing me I'll just think things through so much that whatever happens will be in atleast ONE of my scenerios! I'm telling you, I think God must really appreciate half the stuff I tell him while I think all this out. He's probably laughing the whole time! I'm looking so, so forward to being gone for the summer, but right now God's stretching me faith a bit!

Matthew 27:43-46 "He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, 'I am the Son of God.' " 44In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him. 45From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. 46About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Luke 22:39-44 Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

Most might think I'm crazy for bringing these passasges of scripture up right about now. Both have everything to do with Easter - or leading up to Easter - and nothing to do with a snowy February night. But instead of focusing on my insanity (which I insure you, is quite real, but so is my... sanity?)
Think about this Christ that I bring before you. Messiah, King of Kings, Ruler, Rabbi, all these names would come to mean something. But not now. In these moments, we catch him at the most human part of all. Anguish, loneliness, heartbreak, the list could go on. And this? Is our God. He is my God.
Who is God to you? Or what god do you serve? For a couple of years I served a 'god" that was very much an image of the Almighty God, but because of a grudge that I still hold myself in check with to this day, it was not He. It was simply, an idol. Yet when I finally stopped my crazy life outside of God, and saw God, I was in awe. Who wouldn't be? Even if you are not fully thrown into the presence of the One and Only, when you see glimpses of Him, you are never the same again.
Yet even though I knew who He was, and I had perfect proof that his words were Truth, I had questions.First off, even though I had the stories memorized backwoerds forwards, front, back and in 2 languages, I still wondered deep down, how it pertained to me. Why did this Jesus care that I was a sheep? And why, oh....why! Was he relating me to a lost coin? I knew the answers, but like many Christians today, didn't grasp the amazing reality. Why? Because Jesus Christ was never introduced.
Sure, I knew HIM, he's the one that's keeping me from hell, and for goodness sake's he's the one telling half the stories I don't understand! But I was never introduced to the intimate side of Jesus Christ you see. And that is where a relationship starts. Was Jesus Christ real when all I heard was "YOU JUST GOTTA LOVE JESUS WITH ALL OUR HEART, BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU!" and then heard "him" tell the stories? I definitely had high times where I knew God and Jesus but what goes up must come down. It's when you can walk the valley with your eye on the mountain top that you know you've really captured and grasped who you're serving.

With all this whirling through my head as a young teen, I came across these 2 scriptures "Eloi! ELOI! lama SABACHTANI?!" This is a God that is all powerful, and at this point has withstood 2 temptations. And He could've summoned a legion of Angels to "show them" how it's done. But he stayed. And He stayed. But He stayed with Anguish and heartack all the more for you and I as for the thieves at his side. He knew his Father hated sin, but WHY was the Son to be forsaken? Even for such a short time as this? It was such a indistingushable pain that only the screams of a very real savior, and a very real man, yet an even more real God could make a person understand that He knew what it was like.
And in the Garden, it says that he sweated drops of blood. I don't run. I work out when I'm desperate. But I have never sweated so hard that a vein pops. Although that is very, medically possible. And because Jesus wanted God's will, yet the human side of him wanted a way out that battle was being waged. What a heartbreaking scene to observe, yet what a breathtaking point when He finally breathes, "your will! Father, not mine!"
How overwhelmed, yet comforted he must have felt as His Father's Angels comforted and took care of him. He needed that more than we'd ever imagine. Why? Because this was not a God that had it all undercontrol. The Father-God did, yes. But Jesus the Son had drabbed himself down to be a servant and a human. He had our limits. This, my dear friends, is a very real God.Do yourself a favor, next time you read through any of the temptation or the crucifixion, read it with drama in your voice. If Jesus Never seemed very real to you even though you believed him with all your heart, that'll give you something to think about.
Talk to you later
Cass

What did they feel?

2007-01-31T18:04:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys,

What an interesting couple of weeks! God certainly has a sense of humor, something I'm not a stranger to. But it's just been a weird week. The VNS - the implant and surgery I had on the 20th of December - was turned on 2 weeks ago. This implant on my vegas nerve (the nerve right above your collar bone) shocks me every 5 minutes without fail and tries its darndest to stop seizures. Let me tell ya, I think after 3 years of trial and error, we've found something that might work. But right now, it's making a whole new meaning to the word "zombie"! Just when I think I can start sleeping and dreaming "WHAM!" for thirty seconds that nerve and every part of my throat basically is getting a work over. How fun eh? But hey, we prayed for a solution that would actually be a solution or healing. This is just a wacky way of God grinning and reminding me that the story isn't over yet and his solutions are never boring!

John 2:1-4 On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine."
"Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied, "My time has not yet come."

Everyone knows the story of the wedding feast. Jesus is with his mother (how sweet) They go to a wedding (poor guy!) While Mary, the mother of Jesus is socializing and talking about how beautiful the bride is and how gorgeous the babies are going to be with her eyes and his nose, she notices something horendous. The celebration has no more wine to dine with.
No big deal right? Drink water. If they had a big problem with it, they could've left. I've actually SEEN that happen before. But that's not the thought of Mary. She's not appalled by the sight because she's offended she just wants to help. In those days if there was no wine at the wedding, you were insulting the guests and it made more problems than just the fact they couldn't get drunk for 5 days.
She has no power over this problem (ever been there?!) She thinks about where this could lead and she knows that unless she has some magical.... oh but wait! She's got the Son of God right here. Magic? I don't think so.
So with as little as she has, she goes before the Son and pleads "I have no where to go, I'm embarrassed for this family, please Jesus, Emmanuel, will you...?"
Sounds a little desperate don't you think? It's not though, she was just as desperate as you have been when you realize you've lost a piece of paper you needed at work. Or lost a few bucks of cash that really would've helped. And the only words on your lips are "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"
But what really caught my attention was Christ's response when Mary pleaded. He told her it wasn't His time. He reminded her that this was a miracle that might just... but as he thinks about it, he sees the look of desperation in some of the eyes of his friends. Cummon, we have to figure out something!
So instead of keeping to the line that its not his time to show himself as the Messiah and the King of Kings... which to us, thats exactly what He did... He does the most simplest of things. He fills jugs of water and as soon as they get to the master of ceremonies, its wine. He was able to keep it quiet for a few more months, and Heaven saw two things. That their Messiah was safe, and that Jesus' Mother's heart had changed. Just because of his first miracle.

So what does that have to do with you? Everything. The fact that you can come to Christ at any moment about anything, and know that if he has to move every mountain on earth and more to show you he loves you and he heard your prayer... than He will. And then the fact that who we are, the desperation, the concern, the uncertainty of who we really are dealing with its all ours, yet God cuts through that, reminds us that we are who we are. He may see a different story, but he also sees the tunnell vision that we see as well. And he lives in both.

It wasn't his time to be known at the time but He was -and still is- God. It may not be time for you to know what's going on, but He's still the God in Control.
God may answer your prayers in an outright miracle, or a smile of a friend. Keep your eyes open. Christ is here.

see ya~Cass

A long Road

2007-01-21T20:57:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys, Sorry its been So long since I've posted, things have kind of picked up pace. And I've stepped away from the computer in order to go to the hospital a lot more. Oh boy! Naw it's not that bad, all the stuff we expect, it's just definitely a different journey these days. The opperation I had on the 20th is healing well, and they start the main treatment on Wednesday. Still been working with the students at the college though, and that's definitely how God keeps my eyes on what really matters.

Romans 12:2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I... don't think I have to tell you that Christianity, the lifestyle of Christianity, is a hard road. If you really believe in Who we're saying we have faith in, instead of just saying the words, you get drawn down some pretty rough roads. Persecution was the number one for a lot of people, but then they start seeing Christ in that persecution. Spiritual warfare then, is a major one. Satan and his demons know which strings to pull. But we know how to bend our knees and block our mind and hearts from that.

Whats the point? When we bend to the world, or bend to our own desires for that matter, God takes the back seat. When we stop and hold to the fact that the only One we have in our lives, the only God in our lives is the Almighty himself... that is the renewing of our minds. With that when persecution, spiritual warfare, hard times come period we don't have to doubt when we ask him about his will. Other people tell people what they want just because they think thats what would please the crowd... thats not who God was. God pleases, and he is love.
Well, I'm outta here, I'm praying for you guys, may you see the Truth and grasp it as He would have it, not as of the world.
Cass

Testimony

2006-11-26T16:24:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys,

So, I went by a friend of mine's site, and He had drafted his testimony. What a great idea. Wish I had thought of that sooner! I've actually written it on my other site before... so this one's just a little late in coming. Yeah, great excuse.

I was 3 when I said "the prayer" with my mom in the car. Nothing spectacular. Nothing crazy. I just knew that the faith of the family was supposed to be mine. So I prayed. I was the most zealous little 3 year old you ever did see though. It truly was my faith. I truly did want to see this faith become mine. There was just one problem. And that one problem... even at three years old was starting to brew by the age of 7, I had one eye on Satan and one hand on God's shoulder. I was disabled.

An elderly woman, from the age I was 3, told my parents that she could heal me. I have Cerebral Palsy. Its a motor skills disability, for me, its nothing more than my right side is extremely weak and I'm a little slower in math. But when I was 7 I was wearing braces etc. This woman came up to me one Sunday, dear lady, and said she wanted to pray over me. Sure. Why not. She prayed and nothing happened. Okay, so maybe it was a delayed healing. 2 days maybe? 3? 4? Nothing happened. At the age of 7 because a woman took God's work in her own hands, bitterness and anger welled to quite the height. I said I loved God, but I said it to impress the people around me. Really, God was nothing more than a name. If He couldnt heal a little 7 year old... why should he be loved?

I spend 5 YEARS doing everything that teenagers do to say that I was a rebel. And to try and get God's attention. Ttrying to prove that I didn't have to live with God. And I didnt. But the thing was, I was miserable. I memorized 4 books of the Bible to try and "disprove" God. Didnt work. Everything that I fought with the Pastors with came out that they just stopped fighting with me because I was fighting to long, but they were right. Christmas Eve, when I was 12, I looked at my Bible, and I had a plastic bag to suffocate myself and I thought, there's so much truth there, "God if you want to give me another chance keep me alive." I was asleep before the bag was completely over my head.

That summer my Epilepsy hit a major high. Up to this point I would have 2 seizures a year max. Now I was having more. We werent sure what was going on, but by the time I was 15, I was up to 25 a day. Meds didn't work, and we were pretty frustrated with everything that COULD work. God was still there, and I had learned to trust him again, with all my heart... But living as an epileptic was looking slim. I didn't get this at all. I had a brain surgery and the seizures went away!.... for 4 months. And came back full force. We were totally distraught.

The doctors once joked that I was the one 16 year old that had a chart the size of TX. I was starting to believe they were right. We looked at our options and realized that there was one more thing we could try. Another(!!) brain surgery, one that disconnected my entire left hemisphere. The doctors told me that the only way it worked for me to do this surgery without any risks was because I had cerebral palsy. And to think that I thought it was a curse before. I went through the surgery, and it worked, the seizures have reduced to almost nill, which is what we expected.

But what does that have ANYTHING to do with God? It has everything to do with God, He has kept me alive, He's shown me through the fires. And he's given me a second, and a third chance at life. What a powerful thing to look back and say "man! And to think this is something I thought God couldnt use!" He truly is an awesome God.

my Song through this is HE KNOWS MY NAME
I have a Maker He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands
Chorus
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go Chorus

See ya around~Cass

The Invisible Joy

2006-11-24T19:15:00.000-08:00

Hey There-

Hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving. I know my Family and I did. 'Course who has a problem with getting together with family and being thankful for what they have... and eating? Yeah, thats what I thought. We've always gotten together with friends since we've moved up to Alaska on our own in '98 and its been really interesting getting used to not having "real" family around. But after awhile, the friends you join together with become family. What a blessing when that happens.

James 1:2-5 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

I think this is a passage of scripture that has people destraught and angry, and if not that, atleast confused at our great God. I have one friend that took 2 years in a Bible school that told me he just didn't like James -and stayed away from it- because it didn't make any sense. How... How can you say "thanks a ton" when your heart is screaming that its not fair? I for one spent many years screaming the "its not fair" part of life... and making sure that God knew why I didn't think it wasn't fair. Like He needed the tip.

This is one of those things that no one can give you a "step one, two, three" ordeal on how to find joy when your faith is tested. Because each life is different, and each faith journey is a little wackier. (Yup! I said wackier.... if you've been a Christian for very long, you know what I mean.) But when God ALLOWS something that is so stupid and crazy that you just have no idea where there could be hope in this... God gets pushed into the situation. Because who do you turn to? God. How crazy that this could be hope. But it is.

Endurance is a hard thing to "grow." Yet God asks us to turn to him and watch our faith grow while the endurance grows at the same time. As we look at it it looks like Hell on earth, or something close to it. But the thing is, we were put on this earth to glorify God, and we can not glorify God while we are imperfect. The trials and tribulations make it so that our endurance and faith become stronger and make us look to him. What a rollarcoaster, but this my friend, is what you signed up for, when you became a Christian. It's totally worth it.

The last verse, I had to tack on just because it shows you that God is never leaving us in the dust to do this on our own. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. What an awesome promise, and God also talks about letting the little Children come to him. No matter how old you are, thats still you. This is a hard race, your endurance, your faith is a frustrating thing to come out with at times. But the thing is, God's grace is sufficient. The joy you have is what He has given you, and amazingly, what you go through, when you keep your eyes on Christ, even in the hard times you will have more joy.

Talk atcha later~Cass

Cornerstone of Sovereignty

2006-11-16T20:53:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys,

Had a major scare this week, my seizures past just the "shrug it off no big deal" stage. I was transported to the ER with a 12 minute seizure that had proceeded an 8 minute seizure. Now I'm just waiting on Doc's call and all is well. Oh man! I love waiting don't you? It's a lot easier when you know the outcome, but still, it pulls at ya!

Isaiah 28:16-17 So this is what the Sovereign LORD says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed. 17 I will make justice the measuring line and righteousness the plumb line; hail will sweep away your refuge, the lie, and water will overflow your hiding place.

Last week you guys were overly gracious in reading my frustrations about not understanding sovereignty. The thing is, I understood it perfectly, I was just tired of fighting for the night so I made you guys read what I had written! So! Today, we're going to read what the Bible says, where I should've taken you in the first place. Isaiah Says it best.

Sovereignty can make the greatest scholar scratch his head when he sees it played out. But we see it all the time really. We see it in the hearts of committed Christians that know who they are living for and what finish line they are going to Cross. Sovereignty means supreme control over__________. That could be a person that could be a church, that could be a school. But when that Sovereignty is something we submit ourselves to, its something we tend to start loving more than hating the fact that we're not making the rules anymore.

These verses aren't exactly the "warm and fuzzy" ones that you were looking for. I mean, here God is telling you that he's wiping out your hiding place. And of All things JUSTICE will be what it was meant to be. Sovereignty and Justice reign hand in hand just as much as the mercy and justice of God are the same. What are you looking at when He says he's going to wipe out your refuge? Here's what it means my friend. It's for those of you that don't make your Refuge in Jesus Christ. I cant and wont list the rest of the refuges that we chose. Why? Because I know there are too many ouyt there. But once you takeyour stand on the one Refuge of Jesus Christ your Safe.

Annnnd, I did things backwards tonight, I left the first verse for last. The Lord Says He lays a Precious and tested stone in Zion. But he doesnt just call it a stone he calls it something else. He calls it the Cornerstone. Everything gets built on the Cornerstone. Everything. Your Refuge. Your Family. Your Career. Your life. That Corner Stone won't and can't get knocked down, so don't count on it. Jesus Christ is that Cornerstone. Realize just how powerful He is. And realize how much youre putting your life on the line if you dont want to look him in the eye.

Sovereignty, Cornerstone. What does any of this have to do in common? With the fact that the sovereignty of God knew that we couldn't control our own lives for a day without crackin'... so He gave us the Cornerstone of Life. Some would call him a Crutch, but how can you call him a crutch when there's no way you can leave him?

Talk to you later
Cass

Unknown Sovereignty of God

2006-11-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

Hey There

So, life's been crazy, but I think I've said that every time I've gotten on here for the past 3 months. God's been good, I've definitely had to give up a couple things to feel like I can breathe... Arent you proud of me! And isnt it pathetic that a 17 year old has to do that! But it's been neat to see God working in all aspects of the game. Not like that has to be a surprise. Watching Him work has been a miracle, but if you get me started on that this will be a BIT to long. For those of you that have asked, the young boy that had the brain surgery is now, well, all boy just as always. I talked to his sister and she said that except for the fact that he has now hair (I've been there!) He's been doin' great.

Okay... so this Post, I feel a little weird about. Not like I've never felt like that before. But because I just don't understand much of it. Sovereignty of God is a crazy subject, and when it's being presented to you by a teenager, well, you're in for a roller coaster ride let me tell you! I started writing this an hour after one of my seizures, just because I didn't understand how I could stand up and say "Yeah Lord, you Rock!" This has all been put through experiences and what I know of God. Take from it what God wants you to take.

The first thing I remember after every seizure? Are you crazy? If we’re talking medically, I have no answer for you. I just remember not knowing who I am, or where I live, but that comes back soon after.
But the first thing that goes through my head is “God what are you doing this time?!” I’m terrified with every seizure that happens. Even though I can tell people that it’s a normal thing and I know what’s going on; when my heart still skips a beat every time the aura begins.
What is God doing when, after 3 surgeries, I’m still going through the valleys and I can’t see the sun?
I sat and wondered that the other day, and tried coming up with an answer. There was none. Psalm 23: "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…." I really felt that way. I felt that I had given up half my brain for nothing, just to go back to suffering again. I felt like I was being put through hell. Seeing the sun? You've got to be kidding me. I had some pretty fantastic times, but when I had to be thrown back to reality, reminded that the fight wasn’t over, what was I going to say? God is sovereign? God is good? God reigns? What does that all mean anyway?!
How can a sovereign God really do this? Then we just smile and say "it's alright I know my God's sovereign." That last seizure was the breaking point. I wanted to know what Sovereignty really meant, and I wanted to know if it was enough for me. I didn't care if that wasn't an "okay question" to ask, I was asking it. How could a 17 year old go through so much, and come out with this? It was a blessing, I'm alive, my personality's back, I know how to count my blessings. But why am I still being administered as an epileptic when I know that doesn't have to be the answer.
The dictionary says that Sovereignty means having "power and authority over something" i.e. over me. He can reign over me; he can do whatever he wants over me? Am I willing, at 17, to say that? If you grow up in church you hear that word so often, sovereignty, but it's so hard to truly grasp the meaning. Can he reign over me? Can he rule my heart? Can he rule my life? Can he rule my everything? Unless I could answer those words with a resounding "uhhh-yeah!" than life as a follower of Christ is really going to be confusing. I can't rule my own life I make too many mistakes.
When I'm saying, "My Father God is sovereign," I'm putting complete trust in him as any one would a ruler or a king. This one just has a lot higher stakes. What can I say to the God of the universe when all I've ever seen is pain? Talking to loved ones; I see they have the same attitude. It's hard to submit to sovereignty when they don't understand it. Or when they don't have the same right as He.
So back up a minute. I can't see the sunlight because I'm walking through the valley at the moment right? The only thing I understand is seizures, and saying that this is a "good idea" makes no sense at all. Until I take my eyes off of the one word I've been saying over and over again. "I." It makes sense when God puts the whole picture together and I'm only a small part, not the whole thing. It makes sense when "I" isn’t everything. It makes sense! Sovereignty never makes sense until you take your eyes off yourself for a minute and realize that it's not about yourself.
When I had that seizure I wasn't able to understand much of anything, but I was able to talk to someone afterwards that was going through much of the same battle. Wondering how God could do anything like this. It was so awesome to be able to tell her that even though I didn't have the complete answers to those questions, I could at least relate to her and point her to a God that could do more than that. The unknown sovereignty of God is a beautiful thing; it makes us take our eyes off ourselves. It's amazing to be able to ask those questions, to get those answers, and then to see the face of a loving God. Master, Savior, Jesus. A Sovereign God I will serve.

For whatever reason I put this on here, I hope you understood that God sees who you are and doesnt ignore the pain. Talk atcha later
Cass

A God on the other Side

2006-10-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

Hey There-

I've really been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.... yeah, I know, so Stop and calm down. But It's been cool to see, just how much God has been using every little thing that I have been crazily started. I started with another organization, which I'm not too sure about. But, in everything, God has a reason. Its actually sort of like a forum website(not exactly like a chat room.... although they can post their email address) for kids to come in and just ask question after question about their faith, to talk things out and to ask for prayer. They dont need to use their real names, but if they want to "chat" with one of us, they obviously need to open up a little more. Its been neat seeing God use it in my own life, I dont know why He wants me there. But I've kind of started spending most of my time with the kids there. Its been neat seeing the family of God come together for these kids.The little boy that I asked you guys to pray about... Matt, that had gone through the same brain surgeries as I had last year (I found out that amazingly, He didnt have to turn off his entire hemisphere, praise God) is home. He's not out of the woods however so please keep up the prayers. When someone comes home from any surgery its a crazy thing, when your brain is in jepordy of starting to seize all over again its a pretty painful process physicaly. They told him 6 weeks, but it'll take him a little while more to convince himself that He's seizure free.

Ephesians 3:17-21 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. 20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all Generations forever and ever! Amen.

No one. No one understands God's love. If you do, can you explain it to me? Because I'm completely at a loss. How could God give his Son to die on the cross for every generation of sinful people?! Thats just unfathomable! I just dont understand it. Yet God says "you dont have to be perfect you dont have to get it, just come." WOW! But He does tell us one thing... and that is our undoing. Not give him our money, most of us are okay with that. Not prayer, we can do that. But trust him. Oops. Trust, never came easy. Trusting an invisible God... takes faith.

Once We trust him, once that trust is so embedded in our hearts? He means more to us than a mother, more to us than a spouse. But more than all that, we'll understand. We'll understand that his love really is wide deep and long. No we wont understand how He did it all. But we'll understand that its ours. For all eternity.

For those of you out there that think you cant be changed. Think you've done to much. Think again. I'm here to tell you that I've done more. The people that Christ adored in His day did much more than you or I combined. And yet He still loves me. He still says He wants my trust, he still wants yours. He can accomplish whatever he wants. He can knock down that door and find that trust that you thought was never there.

My prayer for you today, and for the rest of the week is that you would learn to trust, and that you would learn to see God in a way that will change your life. Our Great God can accomplish infinitely more than we can ask or hope, He can give you hope again, and he can give you Someone to trust again. But you have to make the move towards him. I know how hard that is, OH dont I know!! But I also know what a refreshing start to life that is when I see God on the other side of the fence.

Talk to you later
Cass

Called to

2006-09-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,
Wow- What a start to a week. I started a biblestudy with a friend of mine last night so that was a great way to start off a week. Jacob and I are going through Colossians and its definitely been a stretch on both of us since we like to debate our views. We're great friends so its no big deal, but its been interesting to see just how much God's been teaching us through each other and through the Word already. Hey Guys, if ya would, please be praying for a little guy (well he's not that little 4th grade) in Indiana. He's going through the same brain surgery I went through in August. The whole nightmare of a week of observation and then the surgery was enough to make a 15 year old dream about it for months afterwards, I dont know what its going to do to Matthew.

1st Corinthians 1:26-29 26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him.

Called... called to what?! Called to dinner, called to lunch? called to freedom? Yeah okay, now we're getting somewhere when we say we were called to freedom. (dinner and lunch I'm not exactly hungry for anymore) What the Author -Paul- is talking about here is being called to Christ. I shout out freedom because when we ask God to wash away our sins, there is freedom from eternity in hell. You have eternity no matter what guys, what you might not get is freedom is only yours if you are "called."

Not many of us are are wise, yeah thats really not a surprise. I have alot of wise cracks, but as far as being WISE?! Think AGAIN. Being Influential? The person that can influence just one person in their lifetime for God has the greatest gift in the world given to them. But whether they take that opertunity is up to them. Of these 2 things God has to work overtime on us to get it straight. Something he is completely willing to do, but something that is hard to take.

The next phrase completely baffles me. I dont get how God can take the foolishness of a Prostitue, and then a woman that had had five husbands and use it. When the "godly" (sorry they werent godly, they were hypocritical) were throwing stones at them and shunning them Jesus loved them and used their stories to teach us how to live our lives. Doesnt make sense, but then again, what about Grace and mercy makes sense? "The weak things of the world to shame the wise." The disciples (sorry folks we do the same thing... so dont be sittin back and just reading this next part) wanted to know who was going to be "first" so-to-speak in Heaven and Jesus just looked at them and said "the Children." OUCH! What a bite of humble pie. God works in some mysterious and WEIRD ways.
But the thing He's been teaching me this past week is

Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord

To boast only for what Christ has done in our lives... because thats the only thing worth boasting for. What else can we say but "thank you Lord"?
See ya
Cass

Unfair God

2006-09-23T20:08:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,
Life is good. I've actually had a pty relaxing weekend, so thats a huge blessing. I've started another prayer group so thats been an experience and a half. We'll just see where God leads that!

Psalms 55:2 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain youI just found out something that tears at my heart.

Its something I dont want to happen, its something that although I believe and trust God will sustain me- get me through it- Its a hard thing for me to comprehend just casting this care, all my cares, at the throne of Christ and leaving them there.How can we trust an invisible Being? How can we know that closing our eyes and praying about it means that God hears our cries and He's there... He told us He'd be there no matter where we were.

Psalms 139:5 "You (God) both precede and follow me...."

Not once did Noah (built the Ark) actually see the face of God here on Earth, and yet he managed to follow an INVISIBLE God's instructions and save 2 of every unclean animal and 7 of the clean animals and his family. (Genesis starting in chapter 6)Prayers might not seem answered, it might seem like "closing our eyes and folding our hands" only goes as high as the roof and drops, but God says in Proverbs 15:29,

"He (God) hears the prayers of the righteous"

To Cast my cares at the feet of Christ most likely wont happen the first time and then its all over with. I found out the possibility of some pretty harsh news 3 weeks ago and its been on the forefront of my mind every day and I keep on coming back, sometimes moment by moment crying out to God to take this care that can become such a burden. I want to scream out to God that He cant do this without me, that he cant manage this without me first putting my ideas in along with Him, but thats just denying God His right to be in control of everything in my life. Seems unfair at first, but God has a better plan and my life makes more sense when HE gives the answers.Dont worry about anything, pray about everything... and start realizing that God is better at His job that you are.
See ya around, know that you are on my mind and in my prayers
Cass

Rabonai

2006-09-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

Hey There,
Oh Wow! God's really been working in some amazing ways around here. Although they arent that easy, it's great to look back in hine's sight and see it all. I used to add to this every other day, and now its more or less when ever I can, and that's pretty bad. But man! If you could only see on the other side of this computer screen what God has been doing, you'd understand why I cant be on as much. I went from recoverying from a hemispherectomy (they shut off my entire left hemisphere-hence the name) to 8 classes in about 4 months. Yeah, I know, big deal, where's God in that. The fact that the seizures are still very much a part of my life but I'm back in school and my ministry is in the college now is so much a miracle when you're looking at in from my point of view. One of these days I'll rehash my very LOOOOOOOOOONG Surgery and recovery testimony of how God's been here and you'll see just How much God's worked.
Okay! So here's the deal. I write things, and then I completely forget that They've been written after about a month. It goes with being blonde. I was going through my files of all these "forgotten" inspirationals... if I can call them that... and came upon this one. You'll probably hate me for what I have to say because it isnt the greatest thing especially if you caterogize yourself as a "pew Christian" but when you look at it this way, you see the truth a little bit more. What more do we have to say except Abba Father Daddy.. and really live that statement out? And to think I WAS going to write about Jesus' first miracle!

To hear the fire was enough to make the large gathering homey. To hear the stray dog down the street was annoying but what say did I have in that? I had come to hear the Master. They said He was the best. That you walked in, and you knew something was different about this man.
“I can’t see His face!” I heard a teenager whimper frustratingly somewhere in the crowd. I felt like I could echo his cry a thousand times.
“If He doesn’t start right in ten minutes I’m leaving Susan!” I heard a young adult that just by looking at her I could tell she had had life handed to her on a silver platter.
Don’t judge. I thought to myself. I could have been just like her. I had led a life where many people had judged me… why would I have wanted to come to Christ if a so-called ‘Christian’ was judging me?
“I CANT SEE HIS FACE!!!” A double-chinned guy smoking a pipe screamed at the top of his lungs. Honestly concerned He’d die of a heart attack by the next time He yelled that I yelled back,
“NO ONE CAN!” And with that the man was silent and amazingly enough the whole gathering was as well.
“Susan, its 10:00 I’m ready to start now.” The master said gently. Instead of blushing as red as a fire hydrant, she smiled right back.
“Okay folks, you might think it’s a lecture tonight,” With that he faced groans and I heard a kid whisper to his girlfriend that ‘ we could’ve gone to the movies’ but the Master continued.
“I want you to see what you have done to me. Do you realize that I hung the cross, completely stripped?” With that he took off the top of his tunic and showed the scars of his back.
“Yes, you call me ‘Master’ ‘Rabonai’ JESUS. Look me in the eye my children, it’s me. I’m alive and this is how you treat me? This is how you spread the gift that I have given you? If you don’t believe me do what my friend and disciple Thomas did, come up here and put your finger in my hand and side. Go ahead and look at the stripes on my back and legs, I’m real. I’m just as much alive as I was centuries ago.
I had to speak up. “Jesus, why can’t I see your face?” “You’ll see my face when these scars really start making sense to you, when that phrase you pass around in your circles ‘make me more like Jesus’ is complete. Then my dear sweet Child, you’ll see my face. Until then, you’ll only know my touch, and only experience what it’s like for me to pick you up along the way.” What I experienced when I walked in at the beginning, the only thing making the meeting something human was the fire. Now, people stood up in unison praising God, and what I had heard from the people on the street was true, this man did make a remarkable difference in peoples lives. In ways you just didn’t know how to explain.

The Bible talks about how when we get to Heaven the scars of Jesus will still remain. I guess the only question I have for all of us, myself included, is will we be able to say that we lived in a way so that He didnt die in vain?just a thought....talk atcha later~Cass

Nearby

2006-09-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,
It's me.... finally!! Just hanging out and tryin to take a break.... its been a crazy couple of weeks. Taking some college classes. Western Civ, Psych and Voice... so its been a weird life so fair, but its been good. Its amazing how I've only been there a week yet Gods already open many doors for me to say something about the Gospel. If ya think about it, just be praying that I'll stay faithful; to that as much as my studies... thanks!
Jeremiah 23:23-24 "Am I only a God nearby," declares the LORD, "and not a God far away? 24 Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the LORD "Do not I fill heaven and earth?" declares the LORD.
I love Jeremiah and Isaiah because there are parts that its likew God's BRAGGING on himself. But Man! What an awesome God we serve, that He can tell us about his Son, even before Jesus came! "I am a God nearby, people!" What a crazy thought when the world tries to revere him as the opposite. "Oh, well... there's no way that I can reach him now, I've done to much!" WHAT?! A God nearby would never EVER see it that way. The love he shows is amazing, it says in John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." A god faraway could never save them like that.
Yet, as soon as he says that, he replies, "you cant hide." uhhh. Dangit! But what an awesome thought all at the same time. All those times that I was dying inside and hiding in a closet, He saw me. But still, He knows. He has both sides to him, the just and the love. What a contrast, and I cant even see it, but its the truth. I love the fact that He's asking to be real in our lives... and that I dont have to understand it **snap** right now.
He fills Heaven and Earth. WOW!!!! I dont know about you, but in every place I've been in the world I look up and think "there's Heaven" AND HE FILLS THAT?! What a powerful God! What a mighty God. Yet He's offering all of that to us, because he wants that relationship with us. What a hard thing to comprehend, in our small little brains. I would think with all that power to destroy us after what we did to Him and his Son... Yet he's giving us a second Chance. He's a God Nearby.Take that Literally
Talk atcha later
Cass

WHAT is this?

2006-08-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

Well, the last day to fish was yesterday and it was pretty good. We were there at high tide and that was pretty interesting because you were catching your fish and then you had to drag it pretty far before you were on the beach again. I know this is going to sound weird, but the fact that fishing is over almost makes it seem like winter's here. The fireweed is almost done growing, and as soon as thats done, we have 6 weeks before the first snow... ouch! haha I love it here, but its the whole shock of loving the sun, and not to sure if I'm ready to not have much of it for 8 months out of the year. Although when the sun shines, it SHINES... Alaska is worth the time!

Deuteronomy 8:1-4 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years

Yes, I know you're not an Israelite... and Yes, I know you dont usually wonder a desert 40 years. But! How many of us have had a heck of a life and just wanted to look up to God and say "so LORD! When exactly ARE you going to ah, be.. God?!" I'm thinking we've all thought that. We've all wondered when He's going to Buck up to the big title of Jehovah Jirah. (thats on our terms... so in other words, they're not very good terms) I know I have. But God's not nodding his head and telling us to go ahead and think that way. DANG IT!

The only thing He's saying is "remember" Not, "Complain" or "act like you know how to be God" But "Remember."
Remember the fact that He IS God, and Jehovah Jirah means "Provider God" Remember that when the tidal waves fall, he can calm them for you... but he might chose to ask you to ride them out and experience the beauty after the storm. When all you can do is Scream Abba He's asking you to remember that He's the Father and youre the child.

Life sucks. for 15 years I've had epilepsy, and for 6 months after the third brain surgery, I'm still having seizures. Where is God in that? Wheres the provider in that? I'm still alive, when I should be dead. I'm smiling, and I'm still holding on. God is a great God. Take your own story and see God. Remember Him... Remember God. Dont remember an idol that cant make anything happen, and cant give you eternal life... but remember God
Cass

Right or wrong, I dont know

2006-08-09T16:28:00.000-07:00

Well, Sorry its been so long. I had to leave because my parents were gone on their 25th Anniversary. They went on a cruise out in Seward (SOO'-ard) so I had to be "tortured" (haha) by riding horses and taking care of hem for a couple days. oh yeah, talk about torture. It was a blast. My poor Dad about had a heart attack though because I'm still healing from my in surgery, and horses are considered "dangerous" I guess, and I can get a horse to run.. and I did. and I also made the mistake of TELLING my Dad about this. But man it was fun. Riding Horses, not making my Dad worry.

Isaiah 55:9-11 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Have you ever seen a little kid trying to be the parent? Oh man I have! Or rather, I should say, I've tried to be the parent! I've learned my lesson because my brother and sister hated it, a little 4 year old trying to tell a 9 and 10 year old to clean their room and that their doing it wrong. And then comes the REAL parent to set me straight. Oh! You mean I was doing it wrong?! Wow! Didnt know that was possible. Its even worse when we try and be God. Can you just picture God up in Heaven shaking his head saying "my ways ARENT your ways.... get the picture?!" It'd be a lot easier for us if we'd just sit down nod our heads and go, "okay yup uh-huh!" But even God decided that that would be too boring!

But with us, I even told a teenager the other day "yeah well, why listen to your parents?" Because I knew that was her thought process. We "in one ear and out the other." OUCH! But with God, " His word that goes from his mouth will not return empty." What when an invisible God can say that... what are we supposed to do? What a miracle that even when on Sundays that you look around you and you see nothing (or better yet... you look at yourself, I look at myself!) and see nothing happening, when God's Word is spoken, it does its work. Wouldn't parents of teenagers love that "dont do drugs, dont have sex! LISTEN TO ME!!" "yeah whatever ma!"

Not with this God, not with this Lord. We try and do it, and it comes out wrong. If you havent noticed I'm really good at preaching, and I can tell myself to just "shuttttttttt-uppppppppppp Because no one else is listening!" His way is so much different. He never wants anything horrible to happen to you (Jeremiah 29:11) but He can still use it. He doesnt want you to get a broken leg, but he can use the fact that you're laid up for 6 weeks so that you can read the bible and really have to talk to Him. Its a different way of working... like He said, in our eyes, He's not doing it right, but really, He is. His word will not return empty, if you try and challenge him my friend, it'll be even more powerful in your life.
Talk to you later
Cass

Whispered Love

2006-08-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

What you're about to read I wrote a couple months before my last brain surgery, but it goes without saying that I only got through 25 seizures a day and a grand-mal once every couple months because God was there. You can look at this one of 2 ways, by saying that you dont have epilepsy so it doesnt count, or by seeing that God took a broken situation and made it liveable.

I am with you always even ‘til the end of the age.
I’ve heard that one before, it’s a good benediction for pastor’s; a good comfort for those that feel lost. But forever there’s always going to be someone that rolls their eyes closes the pathway to their soul and whispers, “glad that works for you! This God doesn’t love me, end of story.”
As a young kid I was stuck in the middle, I trusted God, but then, with all my heart I was repulsed by the very name of God. Until the other day.
I was in the hospital room having a grand-mal seizure screaming for my mom, and my brain never registered that she was right there trying to hold me. I assumed and believed with all my heart that the other woman who was a nurse was my mom. So I treated her like I would treat my mom. “Mom I wanna go, Mom make it stop, Mom HOLD ME!!”
At first when I was told of this mom- nurse mix up I thought to myself that God was so cruel to both my mom and I to allow all that, and yet after awhile I saw the mercy in it.
Mom had to share the burden of this disoriented screaming baby girl and I was trusting whoever was calling my name. If I had understood that this woman was not my mother, the seizure would have lasted an extra 5 minutes so that I could slowly figure it out.
I am with you always even until the end of the age.
I’m in the shower and I have a seizure, the first thought is that I’m burning to death because of the shower that I couldn’t turn off. Instead of screaming I was wailing. Instead of thrashing I was rocking back and forth trying to find a place of comfort. God was the only one rocking me. In a “regular” seizure you don’t rock back and forth but someone whispered to me to back up and just rock. I don’t know why but that’s how God saved me from more hysteria than I was already in.
I am with you always even ‘til the very end of the age.
I’m in the car with a very inexperienced sister when it comes to seizures. At the moment though we're singing at the top of our lungs. Then I have a seizure and my sister doesn’t know whether to pull over or keep driving. In the midst of screams I tell her to stay calm and keep driving. Hyperventilating, kicking and screaming I don’t feel her pull over but I feel her hand on my back. Once it’s over she jokes by remarking, “If I truly did have that bad of a voice you didn’t have to have a seizure to make me stop singing.” God gave me laughter in the midst of confusion and being terrified.
I am with you always, even ‘til the end of the age.
Three different times where I never once screamed God’s name but He knew what I needed and He was there. He didn’t sit around until I called His name, He was there even before the seizure started.
There’s something said about three times. “If its said once, remember it. If its said twice memorize it, if its said three times carry it wherever you go.
I am with you always even ‘til the end of the age. Remember that.

A losing Battle?

2006-08-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

Not much is happening around here, just working on homework and waiting on a therapy appointment! OH! YEAH! I forgot to tell you (Although from the statistics not many people read this thing) I just got out of brain surgery... I'm working on half my brain, I just shut down my left hemisphere, I had epilepsy. mmmmhm... yeah really crazy, really weird. Told you I was strange.

Philippians 3:7-11 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Loss... for the sake of Christ. Meaning nothing matters if I dont have Christ. But... But? What about my sex life? What about my money? What about my home? what about my family? It doesnt matter. Paul (The author) takes it a step further and says that its even better to know Christ than all that. That just seems wrong!! How Could he say such things if he didnt understand the truth? or rather, if he didnt understand the Truth. (another name for Christ; John 14:6 )

Christ was and is so important that nothing ELSE really matters. God is a jealous God, we "lost all things." To the world that seems like a boring life. I'm here to tell you to think again! In reality, we've gained all things, we've gained the love of Christ, when we accept the gift of eternal life, we gain heaven!The righteousness that comes from God is by faith. I've always grown up in a Christian home, so I've always seen that faith. But I'm also seen the law. Clean your hands ten times a day and you're sins will be clean for that day. There are so, so many LAWS to follow that there are laws to follow the laws! Your faith of Christ is the only thing that will get you to heaven, and the only thing that will get you away from the law. I almost said it was easier... and in a sense, it is. God forgives you unconditionally, but its more of a rollercoaster.

Why, oh, why would anyone want to know Christ's sufferings? The Filipino people, in the Holy Week have men that get flogged with the cat of nine tails and then nailed to the cross... just so they can do that. I PRAISE God that He doesnt want me to do that, that my salvation was and is a free gift. There are many things about Christ that are like a mirror, in Genesis it says that God made us in His image. The suffering of Christ isnt to make us miserable, its to make us see that we need Him. Talk atcha later~
Cass

What was hope?

2006-08-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

Hey There!
Sooo, I do have a normal side really. I just got back from fishing in the river, in Alaska its not the sitting in the boat waiting for a bite and reeling it up (although we do do that) it's alot more involved. We go out in waders with a net, standing in the river (freezing out butts off but its a blast!) and wait for the fish to come to us. Heh, yeah I did that all day. That was my "normal" day in Alaska. Getting my fish for the winter, although, in all honesty we didnt need the fish because we had enough from last year. Why am I telling you all this? Because in the weeks to come you might read stuff to make you think I'm crazy and that I have no life outside of reading... but I do. I really do.

Jeremiah 29:11-14a 11For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. 14I will be found by you," says the LORD.
Have you ever heard a little kid telling their parents something about themselves, like where they came from, and all you hear from the parent is, "I know, uhhh-huh, I know, I know." The kids in awe that his mom or dad would know ALL THIS stuff. He just found out!
Its on such a small scale because I cant even understand it, but thats how we treat God. We're just learning about life, and we read Jeremiah 29:11 "For I KNOW!" How in the world does He know?! I want to write automatically (in all honesty, I did, and I just erased it) that we have to forget the fact that He's God and delve deeper. But no, we dont. WE have to remember the fact that He's God and keep our feet on the ground.
Who are we, to tell God that He's not doing a good enough job with a disaster? LOOK AT JOB! This man in the bible was one of the most prestigious men in the country and then within a small amount of time, he loses his home, his family, his cattle, money. Okay thats disaster. But when we use that example we forget the last part, that when that was over and done with... all of that came back 100 fold. I'm sure it looked like disaster to Job, it sure would to me, holy smokes, But when you are a person that belongs to God, there's never a disaster that you cant face without a joyous outcome.
When He was talking about "I'll listen" He was talking about the rituals of only going to the priests... but today, we dont have to do that. The hope we have is real, and we can go to God whenever we want. Considering the fact that this is the Being that created everything visibled and invisible and we have "contact" with him...thats prety amazing.And lastly just looking for him in earnest.
I've "known" this God for 13 years, but many times had backstep to try and find him again. Look for him and you'll find him, he never hides from us, but we hide from him. What amazing Grace that He loves us so much.Cass

The One Prayer that Doesnt Matter

2006-07-31T14:31:00.000-07:00

Break my Heart for the Lost. Those are six words that don’t seem like much. When my pastor asked us to start praying in that way I immediately signed my life right up. There was no problem with an occasional prayer for the “poor souls that didn’t know Christ.”
What I, and the others in my congregation didn’t realize was that praying those six words broke our heart and broke it well. You walked out on the street, saw a non-believer and just about broke down in tears at the thought that they might not know Christ.
We pride ourselves then of thinking that we have this love for the lost and that we are special. We do have that in the sense that God has called us to pray for them and to minister to them. But dare we consider that we have the love that no one else has? Dare we think that our love is unique and the best that the “man next door” will ever experience?
That is where we all are wrong. Although that truly is a love and a joy, God has it much, much more. When we give time, He gave His Son to die on the cross. Do we even have the guts to try and compare? I don’t think so. This broken heart that you feel is from God, He created it for you, so don’t you think His love is even stronger?
So why pray these six words? If God is so powerful and has such a strong love wouldn’t He be able to fix the problem of “the lost” all by Himself? Yes, He would. But He longs to use us as Believers in His work. For a reason no theologian can understand, He wants and longs to use us.
Break my heart for the lost. When you pray that prayer, and really mean it, it will hurt so much, but the joy of seeing someone come to believe in Jesus will be even stronger.
Shape my eyes for the lost. There are many people that can “hide” from us because we’re human. The person we pass on the street can sound and look just like a Believer. Only Jesus can give us the eyes for the lost who need our friendship and testimony.
Until God comes back there will be someone. Someone wallowing in trying to find their place in beer. Trying to make sense of life through lots of money. Or it could simply just be someone that doesn’t know. We as Christians should never let go of our mission through life. How could we ever be so selfish as to not pray that God will lovingly… Break our hearts for the lost.