A King's Love

He Gave His life for me, the King of the Heavens where one day I'll bow

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Location: Alaska, United States

I've been in Alaska what seems like all my life. Have sorrows and heart breaks like everyone else, but have learned ever so well that God never lets us go through something that He won't use in the future. I'm a crazy, loud and blunt Child of God, and desire more than anything to know that every day, I wake up and bring a smile to my Master's face. there's really, not much more about me than that (that matters, that is)

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Am I Normal?!?!

Hey Guys,

Sorry its been over a month since I've been on here. We've been runnin' a crazy ship around here. I've been working on getting things ready for college in the fall, as well as leaving on Tuesday.... and yes, thats been taking longer than I expected. I have no idea what God has planned for me in either one of these adventures (college in the fall; Indiana for the summer) but I've learned to just let Go and let God.

So, this is going to be a weird post today... especially since it'll probably be the last one for a while, so I have no idea why I'm talking about this particular subject. But you don't argue with God. I was reading through my old papers that I'd written, and this came up. It's not a warm and fuzzy. It actually made me feel uncomfortable and its written about my "people." The disabled. And I wrote it. I want us to see just how much these people are ignored for Christ's love. Maybe we'll see it when we see it from my point of view.

I want to scream when I hear those words. "I want a normal child." There's a bite to those words I've heard many times before but I've never been able to accept. Yes, it's hard to see a disabled child. But she's beautiful; she still has a heart that beats like the rest of us, she still feels. I don’t get why people don’t see that. Then again, yeah, I do.
It’s a hard world out there, a hard thing to stand in front of someone to call them "normal." Especially when you look at them and it doesn’t appear like their gorgeous eyes are looking back. Or they don’t look normal because their body's bent in a gross fashion. How can we accept that and call them normal, how do we sit down and talk to them like they're normal… when we know they're not?
So that’s the world's view, what's the 'other person's' view? I'll tell you. I can tell you because I've been there. I've been the kid that everyone looks at because I can't speak, or because my body looks weird. Or because they look at me and I peer right through them. What do I feel like? When people look at me like that what does it mean to me?
My heart breaks, because I really do have a heart, I really do have feelings. But the scars that can be shown make it so that I'm fair game. It’s a funny thing when people start treating me normally, and then catch themselves, they act like it's a crime. I don’t understand it to be honest with you. All I know is that I wish they'd see that I really am here.
I talked it out with a friend once, and she replied, basically, that it was okay to not accept these people in the world in some cases. I wanted to allow her the time inside my body, where I hurt more times than not because I saw both sides of the story almost too clearly. These people needed to get talked to, even if all it’s a simple "hi, I love you."
What would a person do if it were them? If it were them in the wheelchair barely holding on to a conscience thought; what then? I laugh when little kids ask for my disabilities to get out of school, but I beg for adults to get the pain for a day. That way the world would see what they consider "semi brain dead" or even "brain dead" is still alive. Or even that the hurt that comes from various diseases needs to be accepted.
There are days I hate being disabled; I know I'm not the only one. But the hardest thing is when I peer into the crowd and no one looks back because they're embarrassed. What can I do about it? Accept the fact that I'll never be accepted as the normal society, but there has to be someone that knows we still have souls we still have dreams. And we still need to be a part of every family.

We are a different society maybe… but we still want to be a part of this world.
So this is worse case scenerio, but now we know. And it has happened, it happens many times a week. Just because it's the world we live in. I'm challenging you, and myself, that the next time you run into someone that makes you uncomfortable because they look different, or because they limp WHATEVER! Befriend them. It saddens me that I have to tell this to adults, but I have to tell this more to the mature than the immature. They will see Christ just through you talking to them. Believe me, I know.

Alrighty, so I'll try and come by a little more often but This summer's going to be different... I'll be praying though.
See ya~Cass


Anonymous Bill W said...

Thanks for this important message. You are awesome.

4:09 PM  
Anonymous sandra said...

my dear Cass ,.....in my eyes you are perfect :-)
sounds as if you are very busy ,pleased to catch up around here ,
praying that our Lord leads you into the things He has planned for your life and that many will come to Him through your faithful witness

love and blessings

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Larry S. said...

Hi there "Little Sister"

It has been a long time since I heard from you, but you know what? I haven't forgotten about you, I still love you and I still pray for you. I know what you're saying, there in your post. No, I'm not disabled in that sense of the word, but I do have a son who is "Downs" and I have seen everything you talked about, it used to make me angry when I seen someone staring at him and there have been times when I approched whoever it was and gave them a dressing down. But finally, with the help of "The Lord" I figured out that it wasn't the thing to do, that most of those people didn't mean to be disrespectful and that I was more in the wrong for doing and feeling the way I did about them, than they were, which is usually the way it is with me. Now when I see someone doing that, a lot of times I will take Jody, walk up to them and introduce them to him and most of them are most gracious with him after that, if they get to know him a little bit, they realize there is a real person inside those eyes. Wellll, anyway I do know what you're talking about.

Love you and May God bless you.


11:16 AM  
Blogger Salomé said...

Um... this is the first time that I'm commenting on here. I got here via your website link on The Rebelution.

I'm ever so thankful that I was able to read this post of yours. You have no idea what a blessing it was to me.

I'm not disabled myself, but my little brother is. He has celebral palsy and he is also in a wheelchair. People look at him funny too, but for us, he's normal. It's also helped me to see other disabled people as normal too, and it has given me an exceptional love for them.
My little brother can't talk or hear or walk, so he's not aware of what people think of him, so actually, he doesn't care. He's just such a blessing.

So yeah, you're beautiful and perfect, because that's how God made you, and He did it for a purpose, to fulfill a calling of His.

I really just wanted to tell this to you today. I pray that God will continue to use you and bless you.

Keep smiling.

12:51 AM  
Anonymous sandra said...

you have been very much in my mind lately Cass ..trusting God that things are going well for you and your family

love and blessings


1:58 PM  

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