A King's Love

He Gave His life for me, the King of the Heavens where one day I'll bow

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Location: Alaska, United States

I've been in Alaska what seems like all my life. Have sorrows and heart breaks like everyone else, but have learned ever so well that God never lets us go through something that He won't use in the future. I'm a crazy, loud and blunt Child of God, and desire more than anything to know that every day, I wake up and bring a smile to my Master's face. there's really, not much more about me than that (that matters, that is)

Sunday, November 26, 2006


Hey Guys,

So, I went by a friend of mine's site, and He had drafted his testimony. What a great idea. Wish I had thought of that sooner! I've actually written it on my other site before... so this one's just a little late in coming. Yeah, great excuse.

I was 3 when I said "the prayer" with my mom in the car. Nothing spectacular. Nothing crazy. I just knew that the faith of the family was supposed to be mine. So I prayed. I was the most zealous little 3 year old you ever did see though. It truly was my faith. I truly did want to see this faith become mine. There was just one problem. And that one problem... even at three years old was starting to brew by the age of 7, I had one eye on Satan and one hand on God's shoulder. I was disabled.

An elderly woman, from the age I was 3, told my parents that she could heal me. I have Cerebral Palsy. Its a motor skills disability, for me, its nothing more than my right side is extremely weak and I'm a little slower in math. But when I was 7 I was wearing braces etc. This woman came up to me one Sunday, dear lady, and said she wanted to pray over me. Sure. Why not. She prayed and nothing happened. Okay, so maybe it was a delayed healing. 2 days maybe? 3? 4? Nothing happened. At the age of 7 because a woman took God's work in her own hands, bitterness and anger welled to quite the height. I said I loved God, but I said it to impress the people around me. Really, God was nothing more than a name. If He couldnt heal a little 7 year old... why should he be loved?

I spend 5 YEARS doing everything that
teenagers do to say that I was a rebel. And to try and get God's attention. Ttrying to prove that I didn't have to live with God. And I didnt. But the thing was, I was miserable. I memorized 4 books of the Bible to try and "disprove" God. Didnt work. Everything that I fought with the Pastors with came out that they just stopped fighting with me because I was fighting to long, but they were right. Christmas Eve, when I was 12, I looked at my Bible, and I had a plastic bag to suffocate myself and I thought, there's so much truth there, "God if you want to give me another chance keep me alive." I was asleep before the bag was completely over my head.

That summer my Epilepsy hit a major high. Up to this point I would have 2 seizures a year max. Now I was having more. We werent sure what was going on, but by the time I was 15, I was up to 25 a day. Meds didn't work, and we were pretty frustrated with everything that COULD work. God was still there, and I had learned to trust him again, with all my heart... But living as an epileptic was looking slim. I didn't get this at all. I had a brain surgery and the seizures went away!.... for 4 months. And came back full force. We were totally distraught.

The doctors once joked that I was the one 16 year old that had a chart the size of TX. I was starting to believe they were right. We looked at our options and realized that there was one more thing we could try. Another(!!) brain surgery, one that disconnected my entire left hemisphere. The doctors told me that the only way it worked for me to do this surgery without any risks was because I had cerebral palsy. And to think that I thought it was a curse before. I went through the surgery, and it worked, the seizures have reduced to almost nill, which is what we expected.

But what does that have ANYTHING to do with God? It has everything to do with God, He has kept me alive, He's shown me through the fires. And he's given me a second, and a third chance at life. What a powerful thing to look back and say "man! And to think this is something I thought God couldnt use!" He truly is an awesome God.

my Song through this is
I have a Maker He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call

I have a Father
He calls me His own

He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

See ya around~Cass


Blogger Delian said...

I found you through rebelution.

I am touched by your testimony! Our God is amazing. I am so thankful for what He has done in our lives!

"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to copletion at the day of Jesus Christ." Phil 1:6

6:27 PM  

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