A Pursuing God

Revelation 3:20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

I don't know where to start. This verse makes my heart soar. A lot of times, I hate writing about one verse all by itself because there's so much we can get from the context. But this one just about knocked me over the first time I actully took time to read it. The Lord is writing to the Church in Laodicea, pouring his heart out to them. This church said they loved God but really, didnt care a hoot what they were doing.
Earlier in verse 16 God cries out that "since you are luke warm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth." In other words, the actions that he was seeing were "making him sick" (real good theology term for ya!) The Christians in this Church probably understood a little too well how much that statement was true, and they didn't care. It was just a little too hard, and a little too convicting to change, but hey, they said the prayer, they believe in Christ, that's good enough right? (I'm stepping on my own toes here...)
So, after I've completely depressed all of you, let me shine some light on that subject. God still pursues us. It doesn't matter that we don't pursue him with a passion, he still pursues us with an incomprehensible and unmeasurable passion.
Think about it. The Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End... the "Amen" of life... let me get real lame here and just point out something that I think a part of each one of us asks. How - no, WHY- would a Being with that much "say- so" that much power, care about me? Cummon, I'm a kid that works in a town of 7,000 people, hasn't acchieved much as far as society's concerned, and yet the God of the Universe is standing at my door? Put in your own story, but I think the same is true for all of us. If WE were God, there's no way on earth we'd stand "knocking" at someone's door, and not stopping until they answer. Yet the fact that that isn't explainable is what makes it so precious. Love stepped down and came to live among us, even though Love (Christ) knew that He would be doing most of the drty work in this relationship.

I once heard the "Christian" journey described using initiatives. This speaker kept on saying "Christ loves you, but you have to take the first step." I understand -oh so well- where this man was coming from. (Christ will not make you love him) But at the same time, I don't agree. Christ "beat us" to the initiative. Go to Golgotha... the pursuing became evdent there. And the fact that he is willing to stand at our "door" (our heart) and knock until we answer tells me a few things.
1. He doesn't give up easily
2. His love outstands my stubbornness
3. He pursues no matter our history.

Most of you have been in church most of your lives. Do me a favor will you? Don't take this verse like water off a duck's back. This has HOPE written over it... just because you've heard His Story more times than you can count does not mean you cant step back and revisit the awe that ruled your life the first time you somehow heard the "Amen" of Life simply say "I'll do anything to be with you."
Pretty powerful stuff... I'l talk to you later
Cass

Scale the Heights, find the Master

Hey Guys,'

Whoever is still out there.... HI! Sorry I've sort of resorted to keeping all this going through email, so I have, in some ways, kind of forgotten about this space. I could give you a great excuse, but that's all it'd be, an excuse. Most of my days the past several months have been insane with school work and having a very filled - yet routine- life. Any of you that have actually seen my life know I hate it when my life turns into a routine. At the same time, when you're living on a college campus with about 40 students and its impossible for you to leave, there's very rarely a "routine" day. But even that can turn into a routine.
This past year at Alaska Christian College (ACC) smacked me around... a lot. Theology always throws me for a spin, because I don't really have the gift of faith. I would only have that gift if faith meant "analyze and explain everything until it all makes sense and there's no need for an imagination... because you always get the answer." You guys have seen and heard me argue (or, if you wanna get professional I believe the correct term in theology is "discuss") almost everythng humanly possible to explain questions. I think the craziest thing I learned this year is thats not always necessary. I went to college to get the Book knowledge in theology, and walked away learning alot, like.. God can argue his own case... and I'll never understand anything in theology until I accept who I am in Christ. How's that for a year in a discipleship program?

On the "normal" side of my life (no comments from the peanut gallery) nothing is new as of 3 weeks ago. I graduated from ACC (1 year program) and 4 days before that graduation, got my GED. Talk about backwards, but at times I wonder if I do anything the logical way. Now, I'm doing what every one seems to do around this time of the year... hunting like crazy for a job, and praying that I won't have to stay in the same spot of this gorgeous land forever. I absolutely love Alaska, but I'm getting a little antsy to get somewhere where no one knows me. Yeah, like I said, typical attitude of an 18 year old that hasnt shut-up or sat still since she was born.


Habakkuk 3:19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

Ever hiked a steep mountain? It isn’t easy, there are so many times that you lose your footing. Falling is a little frightening as it is, but when you are 20,000 feet or more up in the air… just the thought of falling is enough to make you wonder why you even signed up for this adventure.
But when you make it, when the mountain is summitted, you understand that being crazy has its advantages. The eagles that fly over have the majestic flair that you’ve always heard about. The mountain doesn’t look like your worst enemy; but you really do see it as the amazing creation that God has made. This, my friend, is why you came, to be crazy, but to find that even as you gritted your teeth in pain, the end would be glorious. Let me tell you though that you won’t understand any of this until you’ve done it. You won’t understand the sense of astonishing peace that comes with knowing you made it. You’re safe and now you can enjoy the beauty. My favorite part though, is there is no way you can look at the mountain, the rivers, the whole creation that was set before you, and not see God.
So God is promising to make us surefooted as a deer. Sounds weird when we first hear about it, but think of the mountains we have to climb on a daily basis. Although if we slip and fall on these mountains it won’t actually kill us, but it can still do it’s damage.
To be surefooted, to take on the heights of our problems is a promise, but we have to take the last step. God is giving us the ability and the promise that He is our strength, but we have to climb. Climbing means knowing what we’re doing. Knowing the other promises that God has given us, and fully relying on those.
Rely on the promise of “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
“I love you with an everlasting love.”
“I am faithful and just to forgive your sins and cleanse you from all wrong.”
These are only a few of the millions of promises that God has given.

Nobody likes to fall, especially spiritually. Yet we have a promise that God will bring us up the heights of life and make us victorious. This promise is yours. Use it as much as you need to, but the biggest thing we all need to do, is know who gave us these promises. These promises mean nothing if we don’t know the promise-giver. Take courage in the fact that you are being made as surefooted as a deer. You can conquer any height because the Father knows what you need.

See ya guys later, I'm still praying

Cass

Rabbi's Dust

Hi Friends,


I seem to be starting every entry with the lame line of "I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth. But I don't think anyone will believe me if I say that. Things here have been bizaar, and except to send out a few short sentence emails every day, I'm rarely on the computer. Huge difference between the kid a couple years ago and the student now. It used to be that my ministry through the net was all I was about, now.... you never see me on the computer!


School is a blast, pretty stressful right now wrapping things up for the semester, but we're all looking so forward to the break that we barely care anymore!!

This poem has been on my mind and heart for months now and I just got it down on paper a few weeks ago. The saying "May you walk in the dust of your Rabbi" was a blessing said among ancient Jews. What they meant by that is they were saying "may you walk SO closely to what you were taught as true, that you are COVERED in it!" The thing is, we have the Rabbi above all Rabbi's. And He is the only one that is Truth. So I have changed that saying to say "May you walk in the dust of THE Rabbi." May people know that you are a follower of Jesus, the Rabbi, and Jesus the Savior... and may they have no doubt of that fact. I am praying that for you.

May you walk in the dust of the Rabbi May the things he says be the supply
Of every breathe you take
Of every minute you’re awake

May the dust of the Rabbi guide your heart
May His teachings truly be a part
Of your life, your journey, and your song
May you understand the difference between right and wrong

May the dust of the Rabbi be all you’re about
May the Truth He shares keep you on the Route
The route to his kingdom, the route to his arms
May this Dust keep you from all satan’s harms

May the very essence of his presence be all you need
May His example guide you in your deed
May you give God the praise
When life gets hard and you don’t understand His ways

Give him the praise because He has given you his dust
To show you what you could do, or what you must
Give him the praise for giving you this gift
For giving you something to follow while walking this rift

Hallelujah Lord for you Grace
Hallelujah Abba for being in this place
If there’s anything I could do I must…
Praise you Lord for your Dust!
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See ya Later!!
Cass

Is Scripture powerful in your life?

Hey Guys,

If you're wondering if I'm still alive... I promise you I am, things have just been kind of crazy around this little ol' town of Alaska. Or rather it's grasping the realization that I no longer have any freedom starting Thursday. (If you really wanna get in an arguement, no one has freedom until they get to heaven... so what am I Complaining about?) Colleges start up pretty soon around here, but Alaska Christian College starts on the 24th. Try as I might to just shrug it off because I'm only going 30 minutesaway to live in a dorm and study theology (by now I'm hearing chuckles I'm sure!) after 4 years of staying at home because of the epilepsy and brain surgeries, I'm kind of apprehensive about getting THAT kind of structure back in my life again. Those of you that don't know, my "schooling" in the Bible has all been personal and basic, and this will be more of a test to see whether I can let God rule 100% of my life rather than whether I can keep up with my studies.
My parents are, as always, a gift from God. They know how weird this is for me, and to be honest, I know how hard this is for them. I've had to stay hanging on my mother's apron strings longer than most kids, teens, and sadly, adults. They've been setting me up with everything necessary for this school, the most important part of the prep prayer and love. Although last night when we celebrated my birthday you would have thought that I thought the most important thing was the computer they bought. Shows you how quickly we forget the reality of life... and to lighten things up here... shows you how many dang papers I'll be writing at this college! (no more than a regular college I'm sure!)

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

I have had the priviledge to correspond with someonethese past- what- few weeks? And many things we agree on but the way we say it is different so we argue - or the polite theological way to say it is "discuss" (not making fun here, I'm serious) to no end. You've all been there. Whether with someone of the same faith or with someone of a different faith... or at least I hope you have. Why? Because it makes you strive for a better understanding of your faith in Christ.

I have to admit something to you here (My Friend, if you read this, read it to the end) I have no idea if he is a Christian. As we used to say as 7th graders he could be a "poser". But in the same position, he doesn't know me either. He knows I talk smooth, and that I can talk like a Christian... But! What in the world does that mean?


He brought something up to me that shocked the socks off of me. (did I really just say that? I'm starting to sound like my mother! Must be that I'm getting older) In the positions that He had, although in many of them I did not agree, he used scripture. And although He might have meant for them to mean something else, they were still used in my life. And what did I do when I was explainging my position? I did exactly what I shouldn't have done, I went to fast. I ddn't use scripture. I used my theological and my biblical training and just made it sound "normal" if that can even be done.

Guys, gals, whoever you are. Young ol, in between... tell whoever you're talking to whenever that comes up that you gotta wait a second. When you're discussing you're position, whether you both agree or not, USE SCRIPTURE. There's nothing more powerful in a person's life than for them to walk away knowing you didn't use just your own position in life.

Next time you're confronted, try something. Only use scripture. Don't even try and explain the scripture... only use scripture. I know that sounds dumb and razy, but don't you think our God is big enough to work?

okay, I'm done standing on my soap box...

talk atcha later~Cass

The Provision of a King

Hey Everyone,

Okay. Yes. I am still alive. No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Am I still willing to keep this blog going? I have NO idea. Let's just say taking a break this summer has been great. Now it's off to college. Whether God wants me to keep this going is up to Him. i.e Whether he gives me the time and the input of what to put on this is up to Him.
This summer has been great. I've been in Indiana working in my old hometown at my home church as an intern (we jokingly call that a slave) working in the office. It's been a stretch in more ways than one, but going into that here would be wrong. God's definitely shown me where my faith needs to grow and has helped me mature in ways I never thought possible. What an awesome God we serve.

I know I usually give you guys a passage of scripture here and then go on, and on, and sometimes go even further... but right now, I don't feel like I can do that. Something God has been teaching me this summer is the difference between teaching only by your input alone (leaving God out of it) and then letting God use your life and Him speaking through you. Something that I've had a hard time grasping because I've had very little example of that growing up except in my family.

But something happened this summer that blew me away at the greatness of our God. And then again, to my shame, it shouldn't have. Let me tell you a story of my incompetance to understand who my God really is. And maybe through that you'll understand Him better.

I left my Home in "igloo land" (if you don't know what or where that is by now... Lord help you) with about $60 in my pocket. I knew that there was no way I was going to survive 2 months with $60 alone, but I also knew that my family wasn't completely mean. My job in Indy wasn't paid (i.e the term "internship") so I just closed my eyes and said a desperate prayer. When I got to my family in the states... my Uncle came through. His response to giving me his money was priceless.

"I know what it's like to stay with a friend and not have money but wanting to pay your own way. Here... take some money." Not wanting to act like a stupid little immature kid, I hugged 'im and thanked him for the money, but inside I was jumping for joy. I had money. I was going to be okay. God was providing. Even though I knew that promise was never going to fail, my faith was soon going to be tested.

When I left my family to start my internship down in southern Indiana after 2 weeks of spending time with them, the unthinkingable happened. Or atleast to me it was unthinkable. In the small town of Alaska, everyone knows everyone. No one locks their car doors, no one worries if their purse is left somewhere. Well, I left my purse in my car... and I was smart enough to atleast hide it under the seat. But when I came back to it, I had $11 instead of $120. A thief with a conscience! Praise God.

A day later, I had to use all but one dollar of that money. And I survived on that $1 for quite sometime. I finally took my money, what I had left of it, which by the time I woke up to the truth and remembered God I only had a few dimes, and knelt by my bed.

"God a few weeks ago I already gave you your 10% of this money... you promised you'd provide. Whether you multiply this money right in front of me now or later on, I'm trusting you. But please just do it. You're teaching me to lean on you, and I just pray you'll teach me to heed every word."

I have to admit, I expected the money to come in 10 minutes later or even a day later. But it didn't. God waited. And waited. And I'm so glad He did. A while later, one of my friends came into the church while I was working and he handed me an envelope just saying "I heard what happened, don't say anything Cass, just take it. I love you."

My mother sent my $40 the next day as well.

Why am I telling you this story? To encourage you. To plead with you not to give up. His time is perfect. He proclaimed that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without Him noticing, what more of a treasure are you? He will provide. Whether it's money, a car, or a broken family that needs to be healed, he is right there. And if He comes to your rescue any sooner, it wouldn't be as perfect as it could be. Believe me, I know.

See ya Around

Cass

Am I Normal?!?!

Hey Guys,

Sorry its been over a month since I've been on here. We've been runnin' a crazy ship around here. I've been working on getting things ready for college in the fall, as well as leaving on Tuesday.... and yes, thats been taking longer than I expected. I have no idea what God has planned for me in either one of these adventures (college in the fall; Indiana for the summer) but I've learned to just let Go and let God.

So, this is going to be a weird post today... especially since it'll probably be the last one for a while, so I have no idea why I'm talking about this particular subject. But you don't argue with God. I was reading through my old papers that I'd written, and this came up. It's not a warm and fuzzy. It actually made me feel uncomfortable and its written about my "people." The disabled. And I wrote it. I want us to see just how much these people are ignored for Christ's love. Maybe we'll see it when we see it from my point of view.

I want to scream when I hear those words. "I want a normal child." There's a bite to those words I've heard many times before but I've never been able to accept. Yes, it's hard to see a disabled child. But she's beautiful; she still has a heart that beats like the rest of us, she still feels. I don’t get why people don’t see that. Then again, yeah, I do.
It’s a hard world out there, a hard thing to stand in front of someone to call them "normal." Especially when you look at them and it doesn’t appear like their gorgeous eyes are looking back. Or they don’t look normal because their body's bent in a gross fashion. How can we accept that and call them normal, how do we sit down and talk to them like they're normal… when we know they're not?
So that’s the world's view, what's the 'other person's' view? I'll tell you. I can tell you because I've been there. I've been the kid that everyone looks at because I can't speak, or because my body looks weird. Or because they look at me and I peer right through them. What do I feel like? When people look at me like that what does it mean to me?
My heart breaks, because I really do have a heart, I really do have feelings. But the scars that can be shown make it so that I'm fair game. It’s a funny thing when people start treating me normally, and then catch themselves, they act like it's a crime. I don’t understand it to be honest with you. All I know is that I wish they'd see that I really am here.
I talked it out with a friend once, and she replied, basically, that it was okay to not accept these people in the world in some cases. I wanted to allow her the time inside my body, where I hurt more times than not because I saw both sides of the story almost too clearly. These people needed to get talked to, even if all it’s a simple "hi, I love you."
What would a person do if it were them? If it were them in the wheelchair barely holding on to a conscience thought; what then? I laugh when little kids ask for my disabilities to get out of school, but I beg for adults to get the pain for a day. That way the world would see what they consider "semi brain dead" or even "brain dead" is still alive. Or even that the hurt that comes from various diseases needs to be accepted.
There are days I hate being disabled; I know I'm not the only one. But the hardest thing is when I peer into the crowd and no one looks back because they're embarrassed. What can I do about it? Accept the fact that I'll never be accepted as the normal society, but there has to be someone that knows we still have souls we still have dreams. And we still need to be a part of every family.
We are a different society maybe… but we still want to be a part of this world.
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So this is worse case scenerio, but now we know. And it has happened, it happens many times a week. Just because it's the world we live in. I'm challenging you, and myself, that the next time you run into someone that makes you uncomfortable because they look different, or because they limp WHATEVER! Befriend them. It saddens me that I have to tell this to adults, but I have to tell this more to the mature than the immature. They will see Christ just through you talking to them. Believe me, I know.

Alrighty, so I'll try and come by a little more often but This summer's going to be different... I'll be praying though.
See ya~Cass

Crushed for it all

Hey Guys,

WELL! This week has definitely been better, and definitely been a little bit crazier. And like I've told you before, if I don't have craziness, I don't have normalcy, so.... all is well. ha! We have college students staying with us all this weekend so it's an endless weekend of movies, popcorn and girls staying up late to talk. You'd think we were back in Junior high or something. But oh well, I'll just pay for staying up til 3 in the morning later.

Isaiah 53:5-7 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray,each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

I usually don't say this about scripture, but this passage makes me sick. In a good way. Because it opens my eyes to what He did. For me. For you. Are you reading this scripture closely? And I mean really closely? It doesn't say he was just prodded with a stick and then left alone to think. Or that he was slapped twice and then left naked to be humiliated (which, in my opinion, would have been enough humiliation to last a life time.) No, he was CRUSHED, completely beaten, bruised, lefted unrecognizable. This was what he put himself through. If I explained the ways they would torture "criminals" back then... the cat of nine tails, the whips, the barb wire for the crown, say nothing of the fact for the rot iron nails and the spears... You'd understand why "crushed" comes to life for me here. And He took all of that for us. We have peace now because of Him.

Now, I want you to imagine with me, what you would have done on the cross if you were there. Not just at the foot of the cross saying "Messiah, I thought you were the one, come back!" but actually being crucified yourself. I usually don't like thinking like that, but what would your reaction be? Fear? Anger? Sadness? Screams of terrior? One of my friends gave me a nail this week and told me to just press it against my palm as HARD as I could. It didn't hurt perse' but it stung. "Now multiply that by 1,000 (I wanted to tell him it was more than that!) and you have the pain of Christ. And we didn't even pity Him. He took our pain and He was as silent as silent could be, and we didn't even pity him. What more could we do to him?" His point was made.

You know what Easter is. Christ was crucified, buried and he ROSE on the third day. Hallelujah. Easter is that Resurrection. Praise God we worship a risen Savior, Amen? The love He showed, on that cross, was a crucial part (duh?). But my point is, many a time we just really quickly go over the crucifixion of Christ like it was no biggie because we don't wanna think about it. I can see why it'd be easier to make it into the preschool version and forget about what it means, but what about the hard details that can change our lives? It's a huge part of thinking about what He has done. Of those nails getting driven into his hands, and him taking it for a crowd that really, didn't care. Take time this Year to THINK about what led up to Easter. and to meditate on the fact that the only reason you are here, is because He was willing to be crushed and crucified.
What a wonderful Savior.

Cass